True Story of Little Red Riding Hood.
The big bad wolf told Red Riding Hood to strip. He looked at her pussy and said, "Now I will fuck you!"
Red pulled out a shotgun from under her coat and said, "Oh no you're not. You're not, you're going to eat me just like it says in the book!"
Medusa makes men hard.
So, a guy is taking a piss in a public bathroom. He looks over and sees a short guy with a very large green dick, who looks up at him and says, “Is there a problem, boyoh?”
“I’m sorry, it’s just that thing is huge, and why the hell is it green?!” The man replies, “I’m a leprechaun.”
“Really?” says the man.
“That’s right. And I’ll grant you three wishes if you let me stick it in your pooper.”
“Anything I want?! Three of them?” replies the man.
“Anything in your wildest dreams, boyoh, but you have to let me finish.”
The man bends over, and the leprechaun puts it in. Thrusting back and forth, he asks for the man’s first wish.
“I want a giant yacht!”
“Aye,” says the leprechaun. “It’s pulling into your own private harbor now.”
“For my second wish, I want a billion dollars,” the man says, beginning to sweat.
“Aye, it’s stacked inside the yacht waiting for you,” the leprechaun replies.
“Okay,” the man groans in pain. “For my final wish, I want this yacht to be full of beautiful women.”
“You betcha, boyoh,” says the leprechaun. “The girls are there waiting for you nooWWW,” as he lets out a moan of pleasure.
The man, exhausted and sore, says, “That was rough, but worth it for those wishes. Where do I go?”
The little man with the giant green dick, pulling up his pants, his accent now gone says: “Aren’t you a little old to be believing in leprechauns?”
What did the lesbian vampire say to the heterosexual woman after the lesbian vampire was done licking the pussy of the heterosexual woman?
"When is your next blood period?"
What is the favorite drink of a vampire?
bloody mary.
Why do vampires drink blood?
Because they can't drink Bloody Marys because they are vampires.
The Bigfoots had a campfire. One Bigfoot asked what should we roast next. The other replied, "Maybe a penis and a girl."
Are the three little pigs orphans because their mom kicked them out of the house?
What do you call male mermaids?
Mer-butlers!
What do you call a tree 🌲 that is magic? A magic tree 🌳.
Leprechauns are stupid. No joke.
Are you a toaster?
Why is the mermaid so dirty?
Because she is a maid, mer-maid!
What did Cinderella leave at the ball?
Her virginity.
I ran into a dwarf, and he said, “Well, I’m not happy.”
Me: Then which one are you?
How are giants and strippers alike?
They both grind men's bones to make their bread.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why?
To visit the ugly witch's house.
Knock, knock...
Who's there?
The chicken!
Why do elves go to school?
To learn the elf-abet.
What is Jack Frost's favorite mode of transport?
A Tri-cycle.
Did you know ghosts are alcoholics?
They only come out for the boos.
Why can't vampires tell jokes right? All their jokes just SUCK.
