What did the headless horseman say to the woman?
"Give me head."
Why is no one friends with Dracula? Because he's a pain in the neck.
Where do mermaids get a job?
At the kelp wanted station.
There's a white guy, black guy, and Santa Claus. They get a hotel room.
White guy goes in room first and sees money on the table and he picks it up. A ghost appears and says, "Put down my money or I'll cut off your weiner." He gets scared and jumps out the window.
Black guy goes in the room, sees the money and picks it up. Ghost appears and says, "Put down my money or I'll cut off you're weiner." He gets scared and jumps out the window.
Santa Claus goes in the room sees the money and picks it up. Ghost appears, "Put down my money or I'll cut off you're weiner." Santa Claus looks at the ghost and says "I'm the ghost of Christmas past, you touch my dick I'll kick your ass!"
What kind of poops do ghosts take? A spooky dookie.
Why don't witches wear underwear?
So they can get a better grip on their broom.
A guy walks into a magical forest looking to cut down a tree. The best one he can find is a magical talking tree. He holds his axe up ready to slice and begins to swing when the tree says, "Stop! I'm a magical tree. You can't cut me." "I'm a magical tree!" the man mocks, then as he goes to swing the axe he says, "You may be a magical tree... But you will dialogue!"
How do you start a Mexican bedtime story?
Juans upon a time.
What type of alphabet does an elf learn?
The elf-abet.
It may be weird to let people smell your hair, but grab the phone as soon as the dwarf says your hair smells nice.
What did one ghost say to another ghost?
"You're boo-tiful!"
There was once a genie with a 10 foot weenie, and he showed it to the neighbors next door.
They thought it was a snake and hit it with a rake. Now it's only 6.4ft.
True Story of Little Red Riding Hood.
The big bad wolf told Red Riding Hood to strip. He looked at her pussy and said, "Now I will fuck you!"
Red pulled out a shotgun from under her coat and said, "Oh no you're not. You're not, you're going to eat me just like it says in the book!"
Medusa makes men hard.
What did the lesbian vampire say to the heterosexual woman after the lesbian vampire was done licking the pussy of the heterosexual woman?
"When is your next blood period?"
Are the three little pigs orphans because their mom kicked them out of the house?
What do you call male mermaids?
Mer-butlers!
Leprechauns are stupid. No joke.
Are you a toaster?
What did Cinderella leave at the ball?
Her virginity.
How are giants and strippers alike?
They both grind men's bones to make their bread.
