Nasruddin Hodja was tilling his patch of land when a hunter came riding up.
“Hey, you!" said the man. “Did you see a boar run past?"
“Yes," replied Hodja.
“Which way did it go?" demanded the man.
Hodja pointed in the direction in which the boar had gone.
The man rode away without a word of thanks, but he was back within minutes.
“No sign of it!" he said. “Are you sure it went that way?"
“I am certain," replied Hodja. “It went that way. Two years ago."
Witches do not wear undies. Why? To get a better grip on their broomsticks.
Panchatantra is a collection of Indian fables.
See, this is the best thing about no such thing as vampires because I'd be the first person to say drinks are on me.
How did "Bloody Mary" become a thing?
Because her husband beat her bloody when she didn't stay in the kitchen.
Gnome.
Why are vampires always sick?
Because they are coffin.
Your mama is so ugly, she tried summoning Candyman, but he refused to come!
Your mama is so ugly, she summoned Bloody Mary.
She handed her an application through the mirror.
Yo mama so scary that the monsters have to look under the bed for her.
Yo mama so ugly that the monsters thought that she was their mother.
I know this girl, Kamelah. She say, "What are you looking at?" I said, "I’m just tryna figure out why it look like Santa stole your hairline."
Why you should never borrow money from dwarves?
Because they are always short! 😁😁😁😁
Why doesn’t Dracula have any friends?
Well, honestly, he’s a real pain in the neck.
We need skinwalker jokes.
Everything is now so expensive in Africa that witches don’t serve food in dreams again. Am I lying? Okay, when last did you eat in your dreams?
This dwarf was being mean to me, so I said, "When you get home, I hope Snow White kicks the shit out of you."
Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty was an egg?
A man walks into a magic forest, when he stumbles upon a talking tree and tries to cut it down. The tree says, "You can't cut me down, I'm a talking tree!" The man replies, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."
A magic genie tells Tom, "I can make anything of yours disappear!"
Tom raises his mug and says, "Okay, get rid of my tea."
Genie: Poof!
Tom: It didn't work.
I was born and raised in Newcastle.
My grandfather used to tell me stories about Penaldo, a goblin from Portugal that travels to England when Newcastle is playing. He scores a tapin and then disappears until the next Newcastle game. I still have nightmares that he’s in our stadium.
