Float jokes
Why can Jesus walk on water?
Because rubbish floats.
What is yellow and does not float well?
A school bus.
What's the difference between the Titanic and Georgie from "It"?
Georgie floated!
What’s long, yellow, and doesn’t float?
A school bus filled with children.
Look, I didn't hit rock bottom. I gracefully floated down there like Mary Poppins with an umbrella.
How do you make an elephant float?
One elephant, two scoops of ice cream, and a lot of root beer!
Uranus floats around in space.
How do you make a baby float?
You take your foot off its head.
Two people were on a boat. They were afloat on water!
A man walks into a skyscraper bar and takes a shot of tequila and jumps out of a window. An onlooker watches this and is scared, but what scared him most is when the same man who jumped came back up again 10 minutes later.
The onlooker who is amazed asked the man how he was still alive, and the man said with a drunk, slurred voice, “I don’t know, every time I take a shot and jump I float right before I hit the ground!” The man demonstrates and as he said floated down and came back up to the bar. The onlooker says that he must try, slams a shot of tequila and jumps SPLAT!
The bartender looks at the first man and says, “Your an a**hole when your drunk, Superman.”
How can you tell if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If it sinks it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s boy-ant (buoyant).
Your mama so fat, when Pennywise said, "We all float down here," he saw her and suddenly knew he was mistaken.
How do you know when a cabbage is boiled?
The wheelchair floats to the top.
What's yellow and can't float?
A school bus full of children.
Why did Miss Stephen get divorced? She didn't float, too.
A pair of souls were floating up to heaven when they passed a pair of eagles.
"Ah, eagles," said the souls. The eagles were too polite to say anything.
We almost drowned when we went out boating, but I got a watermelon to keep me floating.
How do you make a dead baby float?
1 cup rootbeer 2 scoops dead baby.
How can you tell when a cabbage is boiled?
The wheelchair floats to the top.