Why can Jesus walk on water?
Because rubbish floats.
What is yellow and does not float well?
A school bus.
What’s long, yellow, and doesn’t float?
A school bus filled with children.
Look, I didn't hit rock bottom. I gracefully floated down there like Mary Poppins with an umbrella.
A man walks into a skyscraper bar and takes a shot of tequila and jumps out of a window. An onlooker watches this and is scared, but what scared him most is when the same man who jumped came back up again 10 minutes later.
The onlooker who is amazed asked the man how he was still alive, and the man said with a drunk, slurred voice, “I don’t know, every time I take a shot and jump I float right before I hit the ground!” The man demonstrates and as he said floated down and came back up to the bar. The onlooker says that he must try, slams a shot of tequila and jumps SPLAT!
The bartender looks at the first man and says, “Your an a**hole when your drunk, Superman.”
How do you know when a cabbage is boiled?
The wheelchair floats to the top.
What's yellow and can't float?
A school bus full of children.
Why did Miss Stephen get divorced? She didn't float, too.
We almost drowned when we went out boating, but I got a watermelon to keep me floating.