Float jokes

A tortoise was in a dry pool along with some geese. The tortoise said that they could carry him to a fresh pool. Then the geese flew through the air holding the tortoise. The tortoise was about to say something, but fell and died.

How do you make a dead baby float?

1 cup rootbeer 2 scoops dead baby.

In Mia's world, where bottles and parrots meet, A whimsical symphony takes its seat.

With feathers ablaze, the parrots take flight, Their vibrant hues painting the day with delight.

Mia, a dreamer with a heart full of glee, Embraces the beauty for all to see.

Her bottles, like whispers of stories untold, Capture the magic that time cannot hold.

Each bottle, a vessel of dreams and desires, Unveiling the soul's deepest fires.

They dance in the sunlight, sparkle and gleam, A kaleidoscope of colors in Mia's dream.

Parrots, enchanting with melodies rare, Sing ballads of love, floating through the air.

Their voices, like echoes of nature's sweet call, Enchanting all hearts, big and small.

Mia, with reverence, sets the parrots free, To soar across oceans, to distant lands and seas.

In their freedom, they find their truest grace, A testament to love's boundless space.

And as Mia's bottles journey afar, They carry her dreams, like a guiding star.

Through mountains and valleys, they'll forever roam, In the hearts of dreamers, they'll always find home.

What is yellow and does not float well?

A school bus.

There are Three Sons: Journey, Korean, and Little Joe. They were trapped on a floating island, and a priest gave them each one wish.

The first son wished to go back to the ground. The Second Son wished to go back to the ground. The third son was lonely and wished for his two brothers to come back to the floating island.

Uranus floats around in space.

How do you know when a cabbage is boiled?

The wheelchair floats to the top.

Your mama so fat, when Pennywise said, "We all float down here," he saw her and suddenly knew he was mistaken.

Two people were on a boat. They were afloat on water!

Q: What's yellow and floats?

A: A bus full of children.

Why can Jesus walk on water?

Because rubbish floats.

Yo mama's so skinny that when she walks outside, she floats to Heaven.

"Float like a cracker, sting like a beaner!"

How do you make an elephant float?

One elephant, two scoops of ice cream, and a lot of root beer!

Look, I didn't hit rock bottom. I gracefully floated down there like Mary Poppins with an umbrella.

I woke up one night and it was really dark in my room. Then my TV started to float out the window. I said, "Drop it, nig-"

What do you say when you see your TV floating away at night?

"Drop it, Jamal!"

I SH so much, even when I die and become a ghost, you can see red stripes floating around the room.

Pennywise: "They all float down here!"

Titanic: *hold my beer*

A man walks into a skyscraper bar and takes a shot of tequila and jumps out of a window. An onlooker watches this and is scared, but what scared him most is when the same man who jumped came back up again 10 minutes later.

The onlooker who is amazed asked the man how he was still alive, and the man said with a drunk, slurred voice, “I don’t know, every time I take a shot and jump I float right before I hit the ground!” The man demonstrates and as he said floated down and came back up to the bar. The onlooker says that he must try, slams a shot of tequila and jumps SPLAT!

The bartender looks at the first man and says, “Your an a**hole when your drunk, Superman.”