What kind of birds stick together?
Vel-crows.
Why do people want to jump off buildings?
Because they want to become Superman.
My mother-in-law would have been on one of the planes that crashed on 9/11.
Had I known in advance, I would have bought her the ticket.
My great grandfather died in 9/11.
He was such a good pilot.
What does a depressed person and a chicken have in common? They both try to fly.
What did the tower say to its twin? "Hey, is that a plane?"
Why are astronauts forgetful?
They're always spacing out.
You might think these jokes are plane.
How did the flight attendant want their burger?
Just plane!
According to all known laws of aviation, a bee should not be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground, but of course, bees fly anyway because bees don't care about what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, Black. Yellow, Black.
Three ladies were on a flight when suddenly the captain announced, "Please prepare for a crash landing."
The first lady put on all her jewelry. Surprised by this, the other ladies questioned her actions. The first lady replied, "Well, when they come to rescue us they will see that I am rich and will rescue me first." The second lady, not wanting to be left behind, began to take off her top and bra. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, when they come to rescue us, they will see my great tits and will take me first." The third lady who was African, not wanting to be outdone, took off her pants and panties. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, they always search for the black box first."
I was working at a check-in station for a flight to Riyadh when suddenly I was approached by Benzema, Kante, and Neymar!
At first I was very surprised and curious, so I asked them why they decided to play in the Saudi Pro League and not MLS where GOAT Messi plays. They all smiled and happily replied: "Don't you know, the legendary bench warmer PRISTIANO PENALDO plays there!"
Now I fully understood what they meant! They know that Pristiano is already finished, so winning trophies will be easy for them. I smiled and happily let them through.
What do slinkies and the handicapped have in common?
They are the most fun when pushed down a flight of stairs.
Why did the plane cross the sky? To hit the twin towers...
What did the bird say to the other bird?
Nothing, because birds can't talk.
Why did Shawn suddenly fly to Mount Everest, leaving behind friends, family, and food?
Someone told him that "Shelby"'s coming 'round the mountain.
Why arenβt Make-A-Wish kids allowed to fly?
Because they rarely make it out of the terminal.
why do orphan like boomerangs ?
they actually come back
I would like to remind all passengers that this is a no-smoking flight, although do feel free to join me in the cockpit, where we've opened a window.
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Malaysian Airlines Flight 303!
