Flight

Flight jokes

Plane

  • Give a man a plane ticket and he will fly for a day.

    Push a man out of a plane and he will fly for the rest of his life.

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  • Man

  • Leave a man on a plane, and he flies for a day.

    Throw a man off a plane, and he flies for the rest of his life.

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  • Missile

  • Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exercise. They got up into the air and Jim said, "Okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want." Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, "I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire." Allyn said "What?" as he looked over at Jim.

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  • Brother

  • Me and my brother were called the twin towers. My brother lived up to his title after the plane crash.

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  • Plane

  • I just watched a 9/11 documentary on a plane. Man next to me said, "You know we're going to New York, right?" I told him I just wanna know what I got into.

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  • Brother

  • Kid: Mom! You lied to me!

    Mom: When?

    Kid: You told me that my little brother was an Angel!

    Mom: Sooo?

    Kid: Then why didn’t he fly when I threw him off the balcony?

    Mom: WHAT!!!??!!

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  • Flight Attendant

  • It was dinner in the plane, and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner.

    "What are my choices?" the passenger said.

    "Yes or no," the flight attendant replied.

    Child

  • Did you know penguins can actually fly if thrown hard enough... Just like children.

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