Flat Jokes

My mom was cooking dinner and asked me if I could get her a cutting board

“No I need you to take off your shirt and lay on the island so I can cut some chicken”.

Why can't orphans play baseball, they don’t know where home is

I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page

Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor Why do orphans like boomerangs, cause they come back

Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be Wanted. Girls are like rocks the flat ones get skipped

What an orphans least favorite tv show, Family Guy

If you hit an orphan what are they going to do tell their parents

If you hit an orphan with a car at least you don't have to tell their parents

Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father What does a orphan call a family photo, a selfie Why was the orphan a big success, cause people say go big or go home he only had one option Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.

What do orphans and blind kids have in common, the can’t see their parents

Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt, because they don’t know what a mummy is

Why are orphans bad at poker, because they don't know what a full house is

What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.

Whenever a woman files a rape accusation, it’s obviously fake. Even the cows at my farm are more likely, at least they aren’t flat.

Teacher: Okay class look at the person to the right of you and describe them with one word. Me: *looks to the right of me and sees the pick-me girl* "Penny" Teacher: *shocked* How is she a penny? Me: Cuz she's two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants. Not to mention worth practically nothing.

Q: Why did the flat earther become gay?

A: He knows a thing or 2 about giving dome.

Q: Why did he eventually become asexual?

A: He doesn't believe in anything south of the border.