Flat Jokes

Jordan

What did the pencil say to the piece of paper? You FLAT

What did the spoon say to the pancake batter? You THICK

neyo cunningham

why do men like big tits and a flat ass? because they got little dicks and big mouths.

your mom is like a penny, two faced, flat, and always in someones pants.

Ketchup

Q: How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?

A: He gave her a ring.

Q: What’s the most popular video game at the bread bakery?

A: Knead for Speed.

Q: Why is Santa good at karate?

A: He has a black belt.

Q: Where do werewolves buy Christmas gifts?

A: Beast Buy.

Q: What did the snowflake say to the road?

A: Let’s stick together.

Q: Why did the turkey join a band?

A: So he could use his drumsticks.

Q: What’s a math teacher’s favorite winter sport?

A: Figure skating.

Q: Where do werewolves buy Christmas gifts?

A: Beast Buy.

Q: What did the snowflake say to the road?

A: Let’s stick together.

Q: Why did the turkey join a band?

A: So he could use his drumsticks.

Q: What’s a math teacher’s favorite winter sport?

A: Figure skating.

Q: What’s a firefly’s favorite dance?

A: The glitterbug.

Q: Why are eyeshadow, lipstick, and mascara never mad at each other?

A: Because they always make-up

via GIPHY

Q: Where do roses sleep at night?

A: In their flowerbed

Q: Why was the show bad at gymnastics?

A: She was a flip-flop

Q: What should you wear to a tea party?

A: A t-shirt

Q: What’s rain’s favorite accessory?

A: A rainbow

Q: Where does a sink go dancing?

A: The Dish-co

Q: What’s a princess’s favorite time?

A: Knight time.

Q: Why did the Genie get mad?

A: Because he was rubbed the wrong way.

Q: What’s a ballerina’s favorite type of bread?

A: A bun.

Q: What kind of dance was the frog prince best at?

A: Hip hop.

Q: What do bunnies like to do at the mall?

A: Shop ‘til they hop.

via GIPHY

Q: How did the beauty school student do on her manicure test?

A: She nailed it.

Q: What is corn’s favorite music?

A: Pop.

Q: Why can’t Monday lift Saturday?

A: It’s a weak day.

Q: Why was the politician out of breath?

A: He was running for office.

Q: What is a soccer player’s favorite chemical element?

A: Goooooooooooold!

Q: Why did the fastest cat in class get kicked out of school?

A: He was a cheetah.

Q: Which state has the greatest number of jokes?

A: Pennsylvania.

Q: Where is the best place to sit when a submarine is diving?

A: Inside.

Q: Why did the lawyer show up in court in his underwear?

A: He forgot his lawsuit.

Q: Why was the teenager no longer allowed online without a license?

A: He crashed the computer

via GIPHY

Q: What’s a ball that you don’t throw, shoot, eat, spit, bounce, or catch?

A: An eyeball.

Q: What do turtles, eggs, and beaches all have?

A: Shells.

Q: What time of year do people get injured the most?

A: In the fall.

Q: Why did the quarterback take the hardest classes?

A: Because he knew he would pass.

Q: Why did the musician throw away her table?

A: Because it was flat.

Q: Why didn’t the farmer’s son study medicine?

A: Because he wanted to go into a different field?

Q: What is the math teacher’s favorite dessert?

A: Pi

Q: Why was the princess in the emergency r

Anonymous
in Difference

What is the difference between a Flat tire bicycle and a Woman, answer, You need to pump the tire on the bicycle before you ride on it, while a woman you need to ride on her and pump.

Anonymous
in Emo

What do you call a flat emo?

a cutting board

TemperedEdge420
in Emo

What do you call a flat chest emo girl?

A cutting board.

Imposter
in WW2

President: Them damn flat faced n**grs!! Man: We have the power of the sun itself! President: Drop it on them! Man: You push the button President:sigh Fine give it to me Man: Hands over button President: Pushes it Both: YAAA! President: Bumps into the button pressing it again Both: Oh, sht

Meanwhile in japan after the first bomb went off Japanese man: Ah sh*t here we go again

Anonymous
in Anti-jokes

What is blue, green, flat and has teeth. The earth but I lied about the teeth

not telling
in Emo

whats another nick name for a flat emo ? a copping boars

Anonymous

Q: Why did the flat earther become gay?

A: He knows a thing or 2 about giving dome.

Q: Why did he eventually become asexual?

A: He doesn’t believe in anything south of the border.

Anonymous
in Emo

What do you call a flat emo girl?

A cutting board

eat that p.... 445
in School

are teacher said for two kids to stare at a wall no resson so i said hey wall dat ass flat like a pancake from mcdondles.

Anonymous

Why did the hedgehog cross the road?

To check in his flat mate.

No

How do you call an American Bee? -USB

Anonymous
in Emo

what do u call a flat emo?

cutting board

DaFunniBoi
in Galaxy

It’s me back at it again

The earth was flat till they buried yo mama!!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!!1!1,

More

What do you call a flat cabbage? leaf pile