Flat jokes
She needs a flat surface cleaner.
What did music tell the pancakes? -- B flat.
Flat Earther pickup line: "The Earth may be flat, but Uranus is round."
Flat.
If I had a spray can, I would spray it on your ass. Because the instructions say to spray on flat surfaces.
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft, and I’ll show you A-flat minor.
My bitch as flat as her grannie's heartbeat.
Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed, receiving medical treatment not that far after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit him. Jeremy told his best buddy this very inspiring sentence: "Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb tall peaking mountains, and low flat valleys, and all after that we'll be happy forever in heaven, eventually." Little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor.
Bitches do be so flat, you would think they have breast cancer.
Hey.
Girl: Hey.
Damn, I forgot my spray bottle.
Girl: What?
It says "spray on flat surfaces."
Whenever a woman files a rape accusation, it’s obviously fake. Even the cows at my farm are more likely, at least they aren’t flat.
Quote of the day:
A bad attitude is like a flat tire. You can't go anywhere until you change it.
Chao!!!
Use the roast I put of flat earth.
What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
Her chest was so flat, I felt gay while hugging her.
Flat earthers are completely wrong. If the earth was flat, I would have yeeted myself off the edge years ago!
Teacher: Okay class, look at the person to the right of you and describe them with one word.
Me: *looks to the right of me and sees the pick-me girl* "Penny."
Teacher: *shocked* How is she a penny?
Me: 'Cause she's two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants. Not to mention worth practically nothing.
What do you call a flat cabbage?
A leaf pile.
A girl called me ugly.
So I drove over her with a car and called her flat.
Why is a wet pavement like playing music?
If you don't C sharp, you'll B flat.