Flat Jokes

Anonymous

Your chest is flatter than pre-Aristotle's concept of Earth

B1gD1ckW31S

Her chest was so flat felt gay while hugging her

Girl

Anonymous

why are girls and rocks so alike? if there flat they get skipped.

Deez Nutz

in Meat

What’s a hairdressers favorite roast? Flat iron roast

Paladin

The American salute start's with your hand being facing flat towards the ground on your head. The British salute starts with your hand against your head just like the American Salute. The French salute starts your hands in the air. The Saudi salute starts with you being bent over with a camel tongue in your ass.

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Anti-jokes

Anonymous

What is blue, green, flat and has teeth. The earth but I lied about the teeth

Music

Anonymous

What did music tell the pancakes? -- B flat.

President Lincoln

A drunk man walked out of a bar and kept falling flat on his face. He wondered why this was until his wife spoke to him: Wife: why is your face all bloody? Husband: I was so drunk that I couldn't stand up so I kept falling on my face! Wife: idiot. You left your wheelchair at the bar!

Music

Anonymous

What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A flat major

Bri

What do you call blue and orange at the bottom of a pool

-a baby with flat armbands-

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Dark Humor Hunter

you don't have to worry about running while boys are around even i can't see anything there.

Orphan

Anonymous

What do rocks a girls have in common?

The flat ones get skipped

monkeyboy69

what do you call a flat road named after george floyd

Flat neck road

Jimbob

in Fat

Yk the earth was flat till they buried your mama

Woman

Anonymous

Whenever a woman files a rape accusation, it’s obviously fake. Even the cows at my farm are more likely, at least they aren’t flat.

borredddddd

in Emo

what do u call a flat chested emo? a cutting board

Smexy Baka

in Roast

Teacher: Okay class look at the person to the right of you and describe them with one word. Me: *looks to the right of me and sees the pick-me girl* "Penny" Teacher: *shocked* How is she a penny? Me: Cuz she's two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants. Not to mention worth practically nothing.

Cross

Anonymous

Why did the hedgehog cross the road ? To see his flatmate

Yoboylaidback

Say Hey your pretty then she'll say omg thank you so much or something cringe then you say pretty f ing ugly aha gottie