This lady has 2 parrots that only say one thing. Hi we're prostitutes, wanna have some fun? So she goes and tells her pastor. He responds with I have two parrots as well, they are always praying and they have everything that a parrot needs to be a christian. Maybe if we put our parrots together, mine will fix yours. They proceed to do so and the lady's parrots say hi we're prostitutes, wanna have some fun? and the pastors parrots reply with Johnny drop your beads and lift your heads our prayers have been answered.
Sometimes I think back on all the people I’ve lost and remember why I stopped being a tour guide
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
How do you fix a broken gorilla?
With a monkey wrench.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Flex tape can fix a sawed in half boat. Then how the fuck can it not fix the Titanic when it broke in half? tell me.
why did go to the chiropractors? to get his spine fixed
How do you fix a igloo? With Iglue
On the 12th day of Christmas Peo Pessi gave to me
12 tap ins 11 pointless dribbles 10 fixed league titles 9 missed penalties 8-2 6 dives 500million robbed from Barca 4 ucl semi losses 3 times he blamed higuain 2 retirements And a transfer to a farmers league
What did the dinosaur eat when the dentist fixed his tooth? -- The dentist!
How many emo’s does it take to fix a lightbulb None because they just cry in the darkness
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Your hairline is so bent that Bob the builder couldn't fix it
I asked Daveon if he ever considered trying something new, and he replied 'why fix what ain't broke?????
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What did the Army Solider say after he got his legs fixed?
Afgan-I-Stand
A skeleton had a job interview but he looked messy
I had to fix his COLLARbone
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
How does a rapper fix stuff?
With a RAP-AIR
