Yo mama so fat, even Bob the Builder said, "We can't fix that!"
Your mom gay.exe has startled working
what does an orphanage and a hospital have in common
people go there to fix there mistakes
Little Johnny saw his dad getting head from his mom. Johnny asked what they were doing and mom stopped and said she was fixing his dads pants. Little Johnny says "That explains what the lady next door was doing"
Michael Jackson goes to the doctor
Michael Jackson: Help doctor I've been shot. Doctor: I cant fix that but I can change your skin color so it doesn't happen again
How can all rape be prevented? Just teach your daughters to never say no to a man. There - fixed!
God sent gays to fix overpopulation. Until they ended same-sex marriage.
my worst fear is being trapped in a lift with a man who is confident he can fix it.
When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker’s circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his driver (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking.
“I have an idea, boss,” his driver said. “I’ve heard you give this speech so many times. I’ll bet I could give it for you.” Einstein laughed loudly and said, “Why not? Let’s do it!”
When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the driver's cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The driver gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein’s speech and even answered a few questions expertly.
Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody’s fool. Without missing a beat, the driver fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, “Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my driver, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me.”
Q: How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: I don't know, there are twenty in my basement, and my basement light still isn't fixed.
Your hairlines so far back even bill nye the science guy couldn't use photosynthesis to fix it.
your hairline is so jacked up even the barber couldnt fix it
a few men have curved penises but they can fix that problem by straightening it out
God: ok so I created adults. And I created how they are supposed to look like from being born to preteen. Satan:(slides in) I’ll take over for you pops. God: I dunno....this is very delicate work. Just one wrong thing can ruin the system. Satan: don’t worry your beard off! (Pats his back) I’ll just do the ages from 12 to 18! God: Hmm...I’m still not-(Gets a call on his phone) shoot I got to take this. (Answers call) don’t touch anything Lucifer! (Walks away) Satan:.......(just touches lightly and alarms start blaring. He squeaks and runs away) God:(rushes in) WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!?! God:(tries fixing problems. Only gets alarms off) fuck me........ God:....(sighs) fine it’ll stay. We’ll just call it....puberty
The twin towers are like crippled legs once they break they can’t be fixed
What do you call someone who fixes walls? Juan probably.
when you ask for plastic surgery they said 'we could not fix you but the only way is to wear a mask to fix your ugly face'
The police police gave you a fine for not fixing your ugly hairline.
Yo what quacking lacking?looking for a ducking good time?I've got some one lines and knee slappers that ought to fix the bill.what happens flied upside down?it quacks up.
What do you call a duck that can fix anything duck tape
