Fish

Fish Jokes

Friend

Yesterday I asked my friend, "What is a fish without eyes?"

They replied, "I don’t know."

I said, "Fsh."

Bus

1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?

- A bus full of children.

2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?

- He died of a yeast infection.

3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...

- “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”

4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...

- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.

5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...

- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Day

Teach a Scouser to fish and he can eat for a day.

Give him the rod and he will stick it in your letterbox and nick your car keys!

Age

In this modern age, I feel as though it's inappropriate to make jokes about herbs and fish.

It's not the thyme or the plaice for it.

Aquarium

Why did LankyboxGamesJustin go to the aquarium?

Because he's gonna dance with aquayyyyrium!

Chip

Did you hear about the fish and chips? The fish got battered, the chips got salted.

Cat

Q: If cats have cat babies, dogs have dog babies, and tigers have tiger babies, what do fish have?

A: Eggs.

Tuna

Did you hear about the nasty tuna fish?

He was rotten to the albacore.

Aquarium

I went to the aquarium this weekend, but I didn’t stay long. There’s something fishy about that place.

Grandpa

I went fishing with my grandpa, and my fishing line caught the attention of a school of fish. I told him to get my gun.

A black man said, "Where are the young ones?"

Angler

What did the angler say to his students at the end of his fishing class?

Catch you later!

Stick

What do you call a stick with a string on the end of it?

A fishing pole.

DJ

"Why couldn’t the DJ keep any of the fish he caught?

He kept dropping the bass."

Meth

You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish.

Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA