Fish jokes
Question: What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?
Answer: Damn!
What did the fish say when seeing his best mate?
"I sea him!"
A fly is 6 inches above water, and a fish sees it and it leaps out and gets the fly. Then a bear grabs the fish and eats it. Then a hunter shot the bear, and a mouse saw some crackers and then leaped on the cracker and ate it. Then a cat runs down to get the mouse, trips, and falls into the water, and that's the story of how six inches can get a pussy wet.
What do you call a fish with two knees?
I have a dead fish in my lunchbox.
Yesterday I asked my friend, "What is a fish without eyes?"
They replied, "I don’t know."
I said, "Fsh."
Why is the mermaid so dirty?
Because she is a maid, mer-maid!
I went fishing with my grandpa, and my fishing line caught the attention of a school of fish. I told him to get my gun.
A black man said, "Where are the young ones?"
What is Hitler's least favorite fish?
Jewfish.
I went to the aquarium this weekend, but I didn’t stay long. There’s something fishy about that place.
Teach a Scouser to fish and he can eat for a day.
Give him the rod and he will stick it in your letterbox and nick your car keys!
"Why couldn’t the DJ keep any of the fish he caught?
He kept dropping the bass."
What is a fish without i's?
Fsh.
Why did LankyboxGamesJustin go to the aquarium?
Because he's gonna dance with aquayyyyrium!
Did you hear about the fish and chips? The fish got battered, the chips got salted.
What's the difference between the Barracuda car and a fish?
The fish can't go fast.
A fish is dead, who do you call? Aquaman!
Q: If cats have cat babies, dogs have dog babies, and tigers have tiger babies, what do fish have?
A: Eggs.
In this modern age, I feel as though it's inappropriate to make jokes about herbs and fish.
It's not the thyme or the plaice for it.
Yo mama so stupid she thought seaweed was something fish smoke.