First

First jokes

Wish

    • Three friends go to a water park and meet a genie. "You each get one wish." "When you get to the top of the slide, you shall scream your wish as you go down." The first man went down the slide and screamed "Coca Cola," and the pool was filled with Coca-Cola.

    The next ugly-ass looking mf goes down the slide and screams "C-M&Ms" as if he wasn’t just about to say cum—then the pool was full of cu—I mean M&Ms. The last horny-ass bitch is so excited he says "Weee!" Then the pool is full of piss. He was upset the pool wasn’t full of dildos./j

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    • Wife

    • What's the difference between a potted plant and your wife? The first is easier to bury.

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    • First memes

    Girl

    • A happy little girl was running on the grass. She saw two gay guys kissing in a blank space, and she started crying. The two gay guys heard her crying, and then they asked her: "Why are you crying?" The little girl answered: "This is the first time I see an unnatural nature."

    😂😂😂😂

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    • Cheat

    • A man died and went to heaven. Every time you cheat, you get a worse car.

    The first man cheated 5 times; he got a Jeep. The second man cheated 3 times; he got a BMW. The third man never cheated; he got a Lamborghini.

    The second man saw the third man sad. He said, "Why are you sad?" The third man said, "I saw my wife with a scooter."

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    • Land

    • This Native American won't stop talking bad about me, so I said, "Please stop acting like you first discovered this land belonged to your ancestors!"

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    • Butt

    • Why did Alice from Wonderland get her butt stuck in the rabbit hole at first? Because she probably ate too many hamburgers and drank too much wine just out of nowhere, then told her butt to hold it in before more food pops out.

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    • Neck

    • Hannes asks his mother, "Mom, why are the peanuts called peanuts?" Mom replies, "Because they grow in the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why don't strawberries grow in the earth?" Mom replies: "The giraffes originally had a short neck, but it has grown from giraffe to giraffe. The same thing happened with the strawberries. They grew in the earth and grew higher from harvest to harvest until at some point their stems protruded from the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why is my neck so short?" The mother replies: "So many people died in the First and Second World Wars that our necks could not develop at all. It was the same in the Thirty Years' War. We humans have been in so many wars. The giraffes in none and that's why our neck is so short."

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    • Cat

    • There were three cats. The first cat said, "Meow." The second cat said, "Meow." The third cat said, "Meow meow." Then the first cat said, "Don't change the subject!"

    Snowman

    • Two kids are out in the cold, with downpours of snow erupting from the clouds.

    One of the kids says something: "Can we build a snowman that is going through puberty?"

    The other kid says something else: "Yes. It sounds cool."

    After a while, the snowman was finished, and some words jut out of the first kid's mouth: "Wow! Look at that snowman! It's got hair all over, but I think it's missing something though."

    The other kid jumps a little and begins speaking: "Oh, I know what it is!"

    After a while, a body part made of a carrot and two cucumbers appears on the snowman's crotch. It is a penis and a ballsack.

    The first kid speaks: "Icy what you did there."

    The other kid replies: "Good thing I didn't slip up there."

    The first kid replies: "Well, that's snow problem."

    The other kid then uttered this: "These puns would make the most frigid individual crack up."

    The first kid then says: "I know, right?"

    They then begin a snowball fight.

    The other kid then says: "Only the men have snowballs!"

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