First jokes

Three nuns die in a car crash, but they all make it to heaven. They're standing at the pearly gates, and Saint Peter says to them, "Don't worry, you're going to get in, but first I need you to answer these questions."

He asks the first nun, "What was the name of the first woman?" The nun says, "Eve." Saint Peter says, "Go on in."

Then he asks the second nun, "Where did Adam and Eve live?" The second one says, "The Garden of Eden." Saint Peter says, "You can go through."

Finally, he gets to the third nun and says, "What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?" The nun stands there a little confused and says, "Boy, that's a hard one." Saint Peter, shocked, goes, "That's correct! Go on in."

Did you hear about the gay choirboy?

He choked on his first hymn.

What are the three worst years of a black child's life?

First grade!

I got fired from my paramedic job on the first day. I told an eight-year-old who lost his leg in a car accident to "walk it off."

A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.

This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.

Osama Bin Laden, Josef Stalin, and Hitler are robbing a bank, who do the cops shoot first?

A black guy.

I was thrown out of the charity food kitchen on my first night of volunteering.

All I said was, "Hurry up, some of us got homes to go to..."

Four men were asked if they could have something with their cousin for €500.

The first replied: "For 500€? Of course!"

The second said: "I'd do it for free!"

The third replied: "I would even give her 200€!"

The fourth replied: "With my ex? Never!"

What did Chris Brown say the first time he saw Rihanna?

I’d hit that.

This Native American won't stop talking bad about me, so I said, "Please stop acting like you first discovered this land belonged to your ancestors!"

What was the first thing Thanos snapped?

Loki’s neck.

My first name is Al and my last name is Coholic :) #yuengling.f/wat

If a blonde and a brunette jump off a building, who would hit the ground first?

The brunette, because the blonde would have to stop and ask for directions!

What was the first thing that went through the 9/11 victims' heads?

Their ankles.

Teacher: Little Johnny, why are you late again?

Little Johnny: I had to be there for the birth of our first mixed cow, the white cow fell on the mud! (The teacher faints)

The first ever picture of a black hole got released. It sucks.

Sally's mother had four children. The fourth April, the second May, the third June. Who was the first child?

Sally.

People ask me if my friend jumps off a bridge, will I go as well? Of course not. I am a leader; I will go first, my friend will jump after me!

A husband came back from a business trip and found out that his wife was pregnant. At first, he got a bit suspicious, but then he just ignored it and hugged his wife with happiness. The second when he met his friend and told him the news, the friend just said, "Wait, what? I thought she was on pills!"

There are Three Sons: Journey, Korean, and Little Joe. They were trapped on a floating island, and a priest gave them each one wish.

The first son wished to go back to the ground. The Second Son wished to go back to the ground. The third son was lonely and wished for his two brothers to come back to the floating island.