Finger

Finger Jokes

Michael Jackson

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a guitar teacher? One likes to stroke his finger across A minor, and the other one plays guitar.

Way

What's the quickest way to get to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.

What do you do after raping a deaf person? Cut their fingers off so they don't tell anyone.

MORE JOKES COMING SOON LMAO ;]

Trouble

I got in trouble at school today because I played the knife game with a pair of scissors, but I couldn't flip them off because I was missing that finger.

Flower

You look nice, and you seem like good fun, so if I give you this flower, will you finger my bum?

Kid

Why is the blind kid popular?

He can't see the middle fingers.

Helen Keller

Who was the meanest man in the world?

He raped Helen Keller and threw her down a well, but not before cutting off her fingers so she couldn't yell for help.

Sister

How do you know if your sister's on her period?

Your dad's dick tastes funny.

What's worse than fingering your sister?

Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.

Dick

I revealed my dick to my girlfriend.

As she saw it, she said, "Nevermind, just finger me."

Grandma

My grandma said, "Hey, you want a Butterfinger cause I do?"

Me: Grandpa's in the kitchen if you want a finger.

Nose

How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?

Out of a catalogue. 😁

Rape

I awoke after being raped and was shocked to find my fingers were broken. It was hard to grasp.

Teacher

Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up.

Class: no one stands up.

Teacher: Oh c’mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *waves her finger around the left side of the room*

Little Johnny: *stands up*

Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you’re dumb?

Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you’re standing alone.

Friend

My friend showed me his broken finger, and I said, "JESUS!" He said his name is Jake.

Pedophile

Why are pedophiles good at playing guitar?

Because they are good at fingering A minor.

Liar

Mommy, mommy! Are we liars?

"Shut up and cross your fingers when you say that."