Find Jokes

A man has the power to grant anyone a wish they want. A kid comes up and says, "I want to be like batman!" The man smiles and grants his wish. The child goes home and finds that he is now an orphan.

The dirtiest football player in my school was the smallest. He was just trying to find out who was tickling his balls.

There is only one reason why I find woman useful

That is because they make sandwiches. But that is about it

The man was absolutely delighted to find that every lamp in his house was stolen.

Three disabled guys (a blind man, an amputee, and a guy in a wheelchair) are flying back with the USA team from the Paralympic games in the Middle East when their plane crashes in the Sahara Desert. The three disabled guys (the only survivors) are now stranded and wait for someone to rescue them, but no one showed. They start to get real thirsty, so they decide to seek out water. The amputee leads the way, with the blind man pushing the guy in the wheelchair; and, eventually they find an oasis. The amputee leader goes into the water first, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he has a NEW LEG! He gets excited and encourages his friends to do the same. The blind man offers to push the guy in the wheelchair, but he gets refused because the guy in the chair wants to be Mr Independent and isists the blind man goes ahead first. So he goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he can SEE! Now the guy in the wheelchair's getting really excited, starts pushing with all his might, goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, and wheels out the other side. Lo and behold, NEW TIRES!!!

Did you hear about the new pixar movie, it's about cancer patients. It's called finding Kemo

yep

mgflip.com
professional
cook
grandma
Corporate needs you to find the differences
between this picture and this picture.
everyone
They're the same picture.

Chinese takeout $15 . 00 gas to get there $1.50 . Getting home to find they,very forgotten one of your dishes RICELESS

My disabled dad went to the grocery store

He got lost and yet they couldn’t find him

Finally he was found after a kid told them he was in the vegetable aisle

roll your eyes back you might find a brain back there

part 2 : he walks up to a stake and nails himself there. then he finds the knife and says someone to find a cake to celebrate his death. but everybody came. that was the sign that nobody loved him and thats how you know if people love you

Your mom finds a mirror on the scrapyard and says, "I would have thrown away a picture like that too."

"Humpty dumpty sat on the wall, humpty dumpty had a great fall.... All the kings horses and all the kings men, COULDN'T PUT HUMPTY TOGETHER AGAIN."

"rock-a-bye, baby on the treetop when the wind blows

the cradle will rock when the bough breaks

the cradle will fall and down will come baby cradle and all

rock-a-bye, baby on the treetop when the wind blows the cradle will rock

when the bough breaks the cradle will fall

and down will come baby cradle and all"

Anyone else finding the hidden horror in these?

Whats the best thing about been a pedophile? You can choose the fit profession where you find kids most

A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram." She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable." Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'"