What is hard to find but easy to make?
An Orphan
I find it difficult to count to ten in French: un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept. I can't say the next one because I have a huit allergy.
Husband: Hey, my dear, this lunch is great. Where did you find the reciepe?
In a detective novel.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she couldn't find a needle in a needle stack.
Why couldn’t the guy make bubbles?
-He couldn’t find the right s o l u t i o n.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, In this world of chaos, I find peace with you.
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
I've got a job defusing landmines It's difficult, but hopefully soon I'll find my feet
when the feminists find out that it humanity not huwomanity
I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word “Mother-in-law” you get the words “Woman Hitler”.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
why shouldnt orphans get a phone?
they would get stuck in a app because they cant find the home button
There were three indians that got kick out of the tride. One said "me find food" and he came back with a decent size rabit. The other two asked him what happened he said "me see rabit me shoot rabit and rabit fall down dead. The 2nd indian "me find food" he came back with a good sized deer the other two asked him what happened he said"me see deer me shoot deer deer fall down dead. The third indian said "me find food" he came back crwling mising a leg and an arm and he was all cut up the others anded what happened he said "me see train me shoot trai train no stop
Orphan finds genie
Orphan:my first wish is to be Rich
Genie: of course
Orphan:my second wish is to be famous
Genie:done
Orphan: I wish my parents can come back Genie: I told you I can't bring people back from the dead
So Fred accidentally cut off John's ear with his spade. John and Fred were digging a ditch when Fred made a careless swipe with his spade and cut off John's ear.
"Help me find it in all this mud," said John. "If we find it they can sew it back on."
After a couple of minutes, Fred triumphantly shouted, "Here it is", handing the ear to John.
"That's not it," said John, throwing the ear back into the muddy ditch. "Mine had a pencil behind it."
Three men die the same time and I'll go to heaven to go find St Peter St Peter says to them is going to be a long journey to heaven so I will give you a good vehicle depending on how much you've cheated on your wives we'll start with you Michael since you were quite the womanizer you and cheating on your on your wife multiple times you will be getting a Toyota the man embarrassed left in the Toyota Nolan you you were better you cheated on your wife twice so I will give you a Mercedes now for now as for you mark you never cheated on your wife you are an absolute saint so I will be giving you a Lamborghini and the Man in the Toyota saw the man with the Lamborghini the next day crying like a child on his car and he and the Man in the Toyota what the hell is going on and the Man in the Lamborghini says I was through streets of Heaven and so my wife riding in roller skates
Whats the best way to find the twin towers
BUCKET
A man find out his wife is cheating on him with his best friend, so he hires a hitman to shoot his wife in the head, and his friend in the balls. The hitman charges $100 per bullet. The man agrees. Later, they set up, and the hitman looks through the scope and says “I can save you $100”
Roses are red Violets are blue two gay lovers find out they are brothers
A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself and his friend says "Find jesus instead he'll help you!" and than the man says "It's pretty hard to 'get help' from something that doesn't exist".
