Find jokes
Why don’t rappers play hide and seek?
Because good luck finding someone who’s always in the booth!
What is an orphan's least favorite store?
Family Dollar, they just can’t seem to find one.
Why did Beethoven have trouble finding a music teacher? Because his teacher was Haydn.
How did the hillbilly mother find out her daughter entered puberty? Her son's dick tasted funny.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.
I walk in from work to find my wife dead on the sofa.
As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of sick fuck does that?
They call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me poor and ugly.
*P.O.V orphan wanting to go on school trip/camp*
Teacher: “Can I have your parent's signature? It isn’t filled out.”
Orphan: “Um yeah.... That’s gonna be hard....”
Teacher: “Why?”
Orphan: “I just have to find them first....”
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation."
Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.
The frog says $30,000.
The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager.
Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. He wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what the heck is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says: "It's a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
Where can you find the most dads?
Milk Island.
If you have sex and your African parents find out,
“You can do the boom boom. But you can not do the boom boom in my house. Do it somewhere else."
Yo mum's so dumb, she went to the library to find Facebook.
They say that "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach," but I find it a lot easier to go through the ribcage.
What's the best thing about being a pedophile? You can choose the fit profession where you find kids most.
A man is digging in his garden and finds a gold chest. He goes to tell his wife.
Then he remembers why he was digging in the garden...
I have a saying. Whenever you find a sink, there's probably a dead baby inside it...
A young blonde woman fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a shop and buys a handgun.
The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. The hysterical blonde tells her husband: "Shut up... you're next!"
Q: What's an animation similar to Finding Nemo, but the fish has cancer? A: Finding Kemo.
Yo hairline go back so far you could drive 1,000,000 miles and still not find it.
Why did the rapper bring a map to the concert?
To find his way to the top of the CHARTS.