Find jokes
Three men die at the same time and go to Heaven. St. Peter says to them, "It's going to be a long journey to heaven, so I will give you a good vehicle depending on how much you've cheated on your wives."
"We'll start with you, Michael. Since you were quite the womanizer and cheated on your wife multiple times, you will be getting a Toyota." The man, embarrassed, left in the Toyota.
"Nolan, you were better; you cheated on your wife twice, so I will give you a Mercedes. Now, as for you, Mark, you never cheated on your wife; you are an absolute saint, so I will be giving you a Lamborghini."
The man in the Toyota saw the man with the Lamborghini the next day crying like a child on his car, and he asked the man in the Lamborghini, "What the hell is going on?"
The man in the Lamborghini says, "I just saw my wife riding through the streets of Heaven on roller skates!"
What's the best way to find the Twin Towers?
Bucket.
A man finds out his wife is cheating on him with his best friend, so he hires a hitman to shoot his wife in the head, and his friend in the balls. The hitman charges $100 per bullet. The man agrees.
Later, they set up, and the hitman looks through the scope and says, “I can save you $100!”
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Two gay lovers find out they are brothers.
A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find Jesus instead, he'll help you!"
And then the man says, "It's pretty hard to 'get help' from something that doesn't exist."
Memes
What do people with cancer always want to watch?
"Finding Chemo."
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
What is an orphan's least favorite store?
Family Dollar, they just can’t seem to find one.
Why can't an orphan play football? Because they can't find home or return it.
Do you know Stephen is dead? He doesn't have a stone. Do you know how to find him? A metal detector.
Q: Why did baby shark cross the Pacific Ocean?
A: To find his dad.
This had me wheezing 😂🤣😂🤣
Why did the son go to the store?
To find his dad.
A priest walks outside and finds two young boys sitting on a big ice cube. The priest asks what they are doing. The boys answer that the priest always likes a couple of cold ones before he goes on.
Can you f**k out of here?
Karen says:
You are shore to find loads of jokes funny even if I can’t kelp you find the right ones.
Loads of jokes are funny as I’m shore you shall sea.
If you are a bully at a school, when you get home, find an orphan and beat them up!
What are they going to do? Tell the orphan lady to tell you to stop? 😆😝
How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her? She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles.
Why can't orphans steal bases?
Because they can't find home.
What did Nemo's dad say? "Man, he's a lot like my dad, I can never find him!"