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Child:Hello I can’t find my dad.stranger:Oh well when and where did you last see him?child:Oh I remember 5 years ago he went to get some milk here.

"Humpty dumpty sat on the wall, humpty dumpty had a great fall.... All the kings horses and all the kings men, COULDN'T PUT HUMPTY TOGETHER AGAIN."

"rock-a-bye, baby on the treetop when the wind blows

the cradle will rock when the bough breaks

the cradle will fall and down will come baby cradle and all

rock-a-bye, baby on the treetop when the wind blows the cradle will rock

when the bough breaks the cradle will fall

and down will come baby cradle and all"

Anyone else finding the hidden horror in these?

If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, girls would find me attractive.

What do you do if you see someone raping your girlfriend? Help out. There is no way she can fight both of you. Then, find the poor man a lawyer.

Dagger. This is to get your attention, for Dagger Jr. and I. We’d like to speak with you, and possibly Lynx, if we can find a time to all talk.

what do you call a rich Chinese person cha-ching

ask Siri what rich North Koreans are there

siri "I could not find anything for this question"

A man sees a crying woman by a pond. She is in a wheelchair and has no arms or legs. He asks her why she is crying and she answers that she has never been hugged. Feeling pity, he hugs her then jogs away.

The next day he finds her crying again and she says she has never been kissed. The man kisses her and jogs away again.

On the third day the man sees her crying and asks her thrice. She tells him she has never been fucked. The man picks her up...and throws her in the pond telling her, "You're fucked now!"

I saw a fat dude wearing a shirt that said "guess" I said 215kg, he didnt find it as funny

So a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex, when he gets to the bar he brags about the different sex positions they used and one of the guys says "oh did you do head" and he responded with no I couldn't find the head