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Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They can't find home.
I’m not a hard drinker. I actually find it pretty easy.
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
Why did the orphan go to the playground?
To see if it could find its parents.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.
Q: What’s worse than fingerbanging your sister?
A: Finding your dad's wedding ring.
You get on an elevator and you find the Pope and Donald Trump cowering from two snarling wolves. In your hand you find a revolver with only two bullets in it... what do you do?
You shoot the Pope and the Donald each in a leg and exit the elevator at the next stop.
Why are orphans bad at hide and seek?
Because they can’t find their parents.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home. 😀😀
You should go soul searching. Maybe you'll find one.
A man is talking to his doctor after undergoing a whole range of tests to try and find out what’s wrong with him.
The doctor sits him down and says, “I’m so sorry to have to tell you this, but the results are back, and I’m afraid it’s fatal.”
“Oh no!” exclaims the man, “How long do I have?”
“Ten,” says the doctor.
“What, years? Months?!”
“Nine...”
A cop pulls a man over and finds out he's drunk. So he asks for license and registration, and the drunk man says, "Can I see your flashlight?"
The cop says, "Just give me your license and registration." So drunk guy says, "Not until you give me your flashlight."
The cop said, "For what?" and the drunk guy says, "So I can shine it in your face and see what an asshole looks like."
Recently, I've found out my wife has been cheating on me for the past 3 weeks with a baker downtown in Manhattan, New York, thinking I wouldn't find out. Irony of it all, she received a yeast infection.
Three blonde girls are on an island, and they are much too far away from land to swim. They find a genie on the island who offers them each one wish. The first girl says, "I wish I was smart enough to get off this island!" So the genie makes her a redheaded girl, she cuts down a tree, makes it into a boat, and proceeds to row off the island.
The next girl says, "I wish I was even smarter than her so I don't have to do so much manual labor!" So she turns into a brunette and makes a sailboat and lets the wind take her off the island.
The final girl says, "I wish I was smarter than both of them!" So she turns into a man and takes the bridge.
Why was my mate in "Mission: Impossible?" Because he couldn't find his dad.
Why couldn’t the orphan find home?
Didn’t have eyes.
I was happy to find I could get a passing grade in all my subjects if I had sex with my teacher, until I remembered I'm home schooled.
I donated to the LGBTQ community. Hopefully now they can find a cure.
What is it about a beard and glasses that children find so sexy?
If I don't find a reason to live soon, my ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's gonna be hanging from my ceiling.