Why should you never give an orphan a phone?
Because they wouldent be able to find the home buton
tj hairline is so far back,,if you travel back time you still won't find it
What did they find in jeffery dahmers apartment?
jack in a box.
Why can’t orphans play baseball Because They can never find home
When you find out the stripper your banging is a hooker but you're saving money so it's ok
A man is digging in his garden and finds a gold chest, he goes to tell his wife. Then he remembers why he was digging in the garden...
True fact: Five out of six people think Russian roulette is safe. (Russian roulette is a game where you put 1 bullet in a pistol that has 6 chambers each person spins it and try not to land on the bullet to find out if you got the bullet or not you point the gun at yourself and pull the trigger)
Where can you find the freshest vegetables? A school for the disabled!
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation." Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.
The frog says $30,000.
The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager.
Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. He wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what the heck is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says: "It's a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone"
Funny things or weird things to say to someone. Hey...have you kissed a girl before? Weird things to say to someone. Its hard to find friends that 91% Funny 100%Nice and 100,0000 % good-looking. Funny! Weird name to call a girl: Sweetums. Baby-Bugga-Boo.
Fuzzkins. Lumpy. Nilly. Ninty Minty. and SEXY WITCH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Gross thats why I am not getting a bf!
I always sucked at mazes. I found myself lost over and over again but if life is a labyrinth, I'd always find the escape. The final dead end, my personal favourite...
Recently I've found out my wife has been cheating on me for the past 3 weeks with a baker down town in Manhattan, New York thinking I wouldn't find out. Irony of it all, she received a yeast infection.