Financier jokes
Lucifer's so broke he can't even afford air conditioning units.
What does the Bartles and Jaymes wine cooler television ad have in common with ministers who are white Christian nationalists?
They both thank you for your financial support.
Mbu some guys look financially stable until you start dating them... Mbu wait I see how this week goes...馃
Why did the prostitute lose all her money?
Because she got f*cked.
So Johnny Depp made an appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards as an astronaut. It really looks like he wants to be the new Elon Musk, whatever career path is most viable for Depp. I got to admit, if launching crystal meth into your nostrils and your anus is as viable as launching rockets to Mars, Johnny Depp would surpass Elon Musk in net worth.
Then again, the money Depp spends on alcohol each month, he could have bought all of Michael Bloomberg's penthouses in Manhattan. Sure sounds like he also shares the same financial advisor as Donald Trump, who thought it was a magnificent idea to launch Trump Airlines and Trump Ice. He already shares the same pro-Kremlin lawyer, by the way.
Why was Hitler broke?
The gas prices are outrageous.
Jack and Jill went up a hill, each with a buck and a quarter.
Jill came down, and she had two-fifty! Oh, what a whore! (Andrew Dice Clay joke.)
And Sterling has taken a dive.
That's all for financial news, back to the football.
Yo daddy so poor, when yo mama ask for sum child support money, yo dad don鈥檛 have it! 馃ぃ
Where do fish keep their money?
In a riverbank!
Stephen Hawking has enough money to stand up, but can鈥檛 grab the money.