Finance jokes
I'm not calling you a slut, I'm calling you a penny: two-faced, worthless, and in everyone's pants.
What did the rapper say to the ATM?
"Show me the money, or I'll drop a BEAT!"
Yo mama is so dumb, she spent all her money on free subscriptions!
Why did the rapper go to the bank?
To make some cash withdrawals.
If I had a dollar for every brain cell LEO has, I’d have one dollar.
If brains were taxed, Slade would get a rebate.
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
Someone who COUNTS BARS all day!
Why did the rapper go to the bank?
To make some cash flows.
"BlessedBrian must be a bank loan... because he has NO INTEREST."
Why did the rapper bring a calculator to the party?
To count his STACKS of CASH!
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
A money manager who counts bars.
Got fired from the bank yesterday.
They caught me drinking on the job.
Why did the rapper become a mathematician?
To count his STACKS of CASH.
How do you know if a rapper's broke?
When he starts dropping cents instead of bars.
A guy told a beautiful girl, "Hey, I want to make love to you. If I throw $2000 when you go to pick it up, that's when I'll go. Is that okay?"
She called her husband, and he said, "Okay, but pick it up fast so he doesn't have time to pull his pants down."
Four hours later, she shows up to her house and tells her husband, "THAT FUCKER PAID IN COINS!"
Why did the rapper go to the bank? (Part 2)
To WITHDRAW some BEATS.
Why did the rapper go to the bank?
To make some DEPOSITS of RHYMES.
I asked my friend what happened to him?
His balance shifted.
Did you know that a majority of the U.S. is afraid of the dark?
Especially if they are right behind you at the ATM.
It's illegal to go onto someone's property, demand money that they might not have while wearing all black, and threaten horrible things if they don't pay.
But when the IRS does it, it's perfectly fine. HMMMMM . . .