Finance jokes
Just give me my money (clap clap clap).
I found a book called "How to Solve 50% of Your Problems." So I bought 2.
Why did the football player go to the bank?
To get his quarter back.
What do Boy Scouts and IG models have in common?
They both be fucking sugar daddies.
I was at my bank today waiting in a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady, who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla of yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?" The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations." The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too!"
You're so bald that your hairline is receding faster than my bank account after a trip to Las Vegas.
How do rappers make their money?
By dropping dimes.
Why did the rapper visit the bank?
To get his RHYME CHECK.
Why did the booty get a job?
To make ends meet!
What do you call a country's booty?
Its bottom line.
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
Jay-Z and B.
Why don't rappers ever become bankers?
Because they always break the BARS!
What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?
Why did the rapper become a banker?
Because he wanted to make some BIG BANK DEPOSITS!
How does a rapper keep their money safe?
In a RAP VAULT.
What did the tree do when the bank closed?
It started its own branch.
Why did the rapper go to the bank?
To withdraw some flow.
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
A rhyme scheme that's all about the Benjamins!
What do you call a rapper who can't afford jewelry?
"UNBLINGABLE"
They say the only curves Daveon likes are on his credit card statements.