Finance jokes

People dream about having a lot of money, but the only thing you should be dreaming about is a hairline.

I got fired my first day at the bank. This old lady told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

Your hairline is what caused the Great Depression.

I don't think I could ever become a beggar. I really don't like change.

If you had a dollar for every time someone said you're ugly, you'd meet someone who wouldn't say you're ugly.

I got my job at a bank and lost the job the day I got it. A lady asked me to check her balance... so I pushed her!

Bro, living is so expensive, and I'm not even having fun doing it or getting my money's worth.

Hairline got repossessed.

Why you should never borrow money from dwarves?

Because they are always short! 😁😁😁😁

Where do you buy cows in bulk?

At the stock market.

Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help her check her balance.

So I pushed her over.

Your hairline looks like the inflation in America.

What's the difference between economy and Vietnamese?

Economy doesn't work.

My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch! I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and Air Force Ones, but as soon as I spend $100 on hookers, she leaves me.

My wife Jean is happy, 😊 pretty, 😍 and pregnant,🤰 boy, 👦 am I glad 😊 I bought her 👩 a new whirlpool washer and dryer.

Washer: $249.95 Dryer: $199.95

"Why are all these orphans here?" said Chris.

"Because their dad went to go get the milk," said MrBeast.

3 Years Later,

"I AM GIVING APPLE IN A SHARE TO EVERY ORPHAN IN THE WORLD, AND I'M ALSO GIVING EACH OF THEM 1000000000000 DOLLARS."

What is Johnny Depp's new legal name?

Johnny in debt.

I am sure this was the type of economy Judas Iscariot was in when he betrayed Jesus.

I'm so poor that they let me buy the entire store! For $0...

What do orphans get when they go to a bank alone?