New Finance Jokes - Page 9 - Worst Jokes Ever

Bro, living is so expensive, and I'm not even having fun doing it or getting my money's worth.

Hairline got repossessed.

Why you should never borrow money from dwarves?

Because they are always short! 😁😁😁😁

Where do you buy cows in bulk?

At the stock market.

Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help her check her balance.

So I pushed her over.

Your hairline looks like the inflation in America.

What's the difference between economy and Vietnamese?

Economy doesn't work.

My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch! I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and Air Force Ones, but as soon as I spend $100 on hookers, she leaves me.

My wife Jean is happy, 😊 pretty, 😍 and pregnant,🤰 boy, 👦 am I glad 😊 I bought her 👩 a new whirlpool washer and dryer.

Washer: $249.95 Dryer: $199.95

"Why are all these orphans here?" said Chris.

"Because their dad went to go get the milk," said MrBeast.

3 Years Later,

"I AM GIVING APPLE IN A SHARE TO EVERY ORPHAN IN THE WORLD, AND I'M ALSO GIVING EACH OF THEM 1000000000000 DOLLARS."

What is Johnny Depp's new legal name?

Johnny in debt.

I am sure this was the type of economy Judas Iscariot was in when he betrayed Jesus.

I'm so poor that they let me buy the entire store! For $0...

What do orphans get when they go to a bank alone?

Dude, if you're at the ATM, wouldn't that mean you're buying your own money?

Your hairline be lookin' like my negative bank account balance -1,000,000.

Your hairline be looking like the Great Recession.

Teacher: “If you got ten dollars from ten people, what would you have?”

Johnny: “A new bike!”

A teacher asks her class, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Little Johnny says “I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best b*tch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day.”

The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. “And you, Susie?” the teacher asks. Susie says “I wanna be Johnny’s b*tch.”