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Finance jokes

Teacher: “If you got ten dollars from ten people, what would you have?”

Johnny: “A new bike!”

A teacher asks her class, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Little Johnny says “I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best b*tch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day.”

The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. “And you, Susie?” the teacher asks. Susie says “I wanna be Johnny’s b*tch.”

I got fired from my job at the bank today.

An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

I try and try every day, but 5 keep coming out. There's so money at this point my walls are built of babies.

The orphan turned 18, but he was happy because he didn't have to pay rent to his parents.

The gayest person in the world is Pacman, because I can pay him 50 cents to eat 200 balls.

STORY OF 2 PEOPLE NOT ME:

Girlfriend: What would you do if I won the lottery?

Boyfriend: I would take half and leave you.

Girlfriend: Ok cool. I won 12 dollars here's 6 and don't come back.

A father bought his depressed son a new house, and then pointing at it, he said, "Hang in there, son!"

If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I'd be broke.

One day my mom told me not to be an actor. I said, "But mommy, I will make a lot of money!"

When you find out the stripper you're banging is a hooker, but you're saving money, so it's okay.