Went swimming today and peed in the deep end. The lifeguard saw me and blew his whistle so loud I almost fell in.
There were 1 mom and 3 kids. The first kid comes up and asks, "Why is my name Daisy?" The mom says, "Because when you were born a daisy fell on your head." The second kid asks their mom, "Why is my name Butterfly?" The mom says, "Because when you were born a butterfly landed on your head." Then the third kid yells, "Ahjoejienfkef." The mom says, "Shut up, Brick!"
I KNOW IT'S MARCH, BUT I THOUGHT OF THIS!
Jingle bells, jingle bells! OH GOD, SANTA FELL!
I guess it's time for Mrs. Claus to go straight down to hell!
As a murderer, I stabbed a man after infiltrating his house. His wife came in and saw me. She fell into tears. I got up and said, "Drama queen!"
What fell down the tree first, the emo or the apple?
Guess what? The apple, because the emo got left hanging.
Your Mom so fat that she went on to commit suicide, but the roof fell off.....
Which one fell first?
The depressed kid or the feather? Look at 1st comment to see answer.
my grandfather cant a woman's taco anymore cause his balls fell off from getting to many tacos
"Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? You're adopted. Haley says she likes me more than you."
Joe mama so fat, she fell on both sides of the bed.
"It looks like she went into Claire’s Boutique, fell on a sale rack, and said, ‘I’ll take it!’" — Bianca Del Rio, RuPaul’s Drag Race
The first time I heard your voice, my foreskin fell off.
Stephen Hawking died because his screw fell out.
Your mom is so fat that when she fell on the sidewalk, nobody laughed, but the sidewalk cracked up.
Why couldn’t Helen Keller scream when she fell off the cliff?
Because she was wearing mittens.
A pregnant wife and her husband were in a hospital as she was in labor. The doctor suggested using a machine that transfers the birth pains from the mother to the father. They agree, so the machine is used. 40%, the husband feels nothing, 70% still not feeling anything, 100%, nothing.
The doctor says it must be broken. When the pair return home, the milkman is dead in the front yard.
What fell out of the tree first, the apple or the emo?
The apple, the emo was caught by the rope.
An apple and an emo kid fell from a tree, which one hit the ground?
The apple, because the rope caught the emo kid.
Yo mama is so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
Yo mama so fat, that when she fell I didn’t laugh, but damn that sidewalk cracked up. 👋
