Why didn’t the cat cross the road?
Answer: Because it’s a scaredy-cat.
Roses are red, violets are blue. If you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.
I'm never going bungee jumping because a cord bridged me into the world. It's not taking me out.
Why don't Japanese people like iPhones?
Because they are afraid of American airdrops.
When the school shooter misses you, but you gotta play it off.
😐😑
Today was like every other day. It was so terribly long and so terribly dreary. I fear these feelings will never end. I’ll always feel so dark, feel so hopeless. Sometimes all I want is for it to end. For all of it to end, for all of my thoughts to end. I despise the way that always comes to mind. But I feel so lost, feel so hopeless. If something would just work. But nothing has worked. Nothing can fix this. These feelings will pass. These days won't feel so endless... or so absolutely heavy. Just give it some time. Just give it some hope... and some belief. The ‘happy pills’ will work. The doctor says they'll help... they'll help it go away. Just dump the pill in your hand. Let yourself place the little white thing on your tongue... Let yourself throw your head back and swallow. It'll make this better. It should make me feel better.
Everything has changed! The world is so bright— The world is so loud! I don’t know how I never noticed! The sun is so warm— The grass is so green! I feel so awake! I feel so content— I feel so happy! It’s so strange! I’m not anxious— I’m not overthinking! I guess those pills really worked! I think I’m really getting better— I think I’m really going to be happy!
Unknown be like: "Wah wah, I'm too scared to talk to girls in real life, so I bully random tweens I find online to make me feel better... what a shame."
Don't be scared of skeletons.
They don't have the guts for murder.
My little sister called my name a few minutes after I put her to bed. She told me that there was something in her closet. I checked the closet and told her there was nothing there, but told her she could still sleep in my room with me. I was thinking that was the best way to get her out of the room before he noticed I saw him.
Why did the democrats come out of the closet as assholes after they found out that Rush Limbaugh died? Because they don't fear him anymore.
Why did the Democrats act like an asshole when Rush Limbaugh was alive?
Because they fear him.
Leukophobic people don’t have sex. Leukophobia is the fear of white.
I used to have a phobia of pogo sticks. Those things always made me jump.
Why was sis afraid of seven?
Cuz 7 ate 9.
What do you call a calf that is in no way brave?
A coward.
What's a pedophile's favorite part of Halloween? Free delivery.
You're so short, I bet your parents left you at home most times when they went to the pool because they're scared you'll drown in the kiddie pool.
Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn't chicken!
Why is 10 so scared? Cause it was in the middle of 9/11.
One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.
