Favorite jokes
What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
What does a baby computer call his father? Data!
What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!
Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!
Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”
What is an orphan’s favorite beer?
Fosters.
What is a kid's favorite thing to do with their dad?
Play pretend dog in the bed.
What was the Twin Towers favorite game? Jenga.
"Jesus is the pioneer of Hollywood. He's still famous and my favorite idol."
My teacher asked me what my favorite number was yesterday, and I said 2977. I chose 91 for my football jersey number and Sharpied a 1 after the other 1, and my teacher Mr. Jackson's dad died in 9/11, and when he was talking about it Friday the 9th, I threw a paper airplane at him and got suspended for 3 days starting Monday.
What is a prostitute's favorite form of traffic control?
Speed humps.
What is Puss In Boots' favorite boot brand?
CAT!
What is an orphan's favorite movie? Hint, not Home Alone. It's actually Batman, 'cause they are 50% the same as him.
What is Gaten Matarazzo's favorite song?
"Dust in the Wind."
What is the Demogorgon's favorite song?
"Maneater."
What is Steve Harrington's favorite musical?
Hairspray.
What is a testicle's favorite book?
Put Tony's Nuts in Your Mouth!
What's a rapist's fav position?
Missionary in a dark corner.
What is an emo's least favorite game? Fruit Ninja.
Stephen Hawking's least favorite song is "I'm Still Standing."
Why is Homelander an orphan's favorite superhero?
Because they can actually land a home.
A pastor asked his child what his favorite bible verse was... He responded, "Keep watch," because he wanted a watch.
What's an Asian's favorite food place?
Answer: Petco
What are Michael Jackson’s favorite universities?
Brigham Young and Boise State.