Father jokes
I bought my son a trampoline. He sat in his wheelchair and cried.
Why do orphans love McDonald's?
Because the initials are like "mother" and "father."
You and me went up to stab your father. He was out, do not pout. They are coming after.
What do Orphans say on Father's Day?
Well, not "Happy Father's Day."
Simba was walking too slow so I told him to Mufasa.
Someone came to me and said, "Your dad is gay." I just said, "Wait. You know where my dad is? Please tell me!"
What’s the difference between Santa and my dad?
Santa got the milk.
Why can't orphans stand Darth Vader?
Because he's their father.
What do Indians call their father when they are born?
Data.
What did the daddy bullet say to his son when he missed the bull and hit something brown and gross?
"That is bull crap!"
You're so fat that when you were born, the nurse mistook you for the father.
I asked, "Mom, what's that in the sky?"
Mom replied with, "That's your father."
What did Nemo's dad say? "Man, he's a lot like my dad, I can never find him!"
Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy).
Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle).
Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what's the third son's name? A: David.
Dad: You’re looking pretty sheepish.
Son: That’s too baaaaaad!
Stevie Wonder is a terrible father.
He never sees his kids.
So an orphan goes to the store and gets a bunch of cartons of milk.
The cashier goes, "Woah, why so much?"
The orphan goes, "My dad never came back with the milk, so, well, here we are!"
Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant all her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats,” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “well done?”
Repost
Why does an orphan have to go to church? Because that's the only way he can pray for a father.
Orphan's prayer: In the name of the Father, The Son, The Holy Spirit. Amen.