Fate jokes
When someone asks you why you went bald, say it wasn't a choice. It just happened.
I’m not saying my life’s a joke. I’m saying it’s the punchline no one asked for.
A boy sat in his bed, watching a meteor shower. He was a vengeful child and wished that his parents would no longer bother him whilst he was gaming.
The next morning, he woke up to find his mother had passed away in the night. Clearly his wish had worked. However, his father worked a midnight job, and as such the boy was very confused when he returned home from work, expecting him to have met the same fate.
The two of them then looked out the window in thought, only to find the milkman lying dead on the pavement.
What does an orphan and a military man not have in common? Neither gets to go back home.
Danny's Chromebook, Charger in his eager hands, Power for his world.
Fingers click and type, Words flow with electric grace, Thoughts come to life.
Screen illuminates, Imagination takes flight, Limitless pages.
Infinite knowledge, Unleashed through digital realms, Chromebook charger's might.
Danny's trusted friend, Always ready to connect, Bound by cord and fate.
Together they thrive, Exploring vast horizons, Endless possibilities.
Danny with his Chromebook charger, A duo, unstoppable, Unleashing their dreams.
I'm a magician. Watch my closing act at the end of the rope.
What's the difference between an apple tree and an orphan? The apples get picked.
I was sitting in traffic the other day.
Probably why I got run over.
You know when people say a joke about living?
That's because we are all living a joke.
Me: It's so sad Ironman died of ligma. You: What the heck is an Ironman? Me: Ligma balls. "snap" ^kaboom^
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the kings horses and all the kings men, said "Fuck him, he's only an egg."
What's the similarity between an orphan and my dick?
They both will die alone.
Hey, Reaper!!! Where are you going?
"I finished my job."
What about me?
Some people put zodiacs on everything.
They said they couldn’t go to the party because of cancer.
Why do orphans die young?
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
Jesus saved me from eternal fate, but I didn't want to get saved. I was about to fight Satan on Final Destination before facing and kicking God's ass.
Smash or pass?
"Smash," said the iceberg.
TItanic:...
When they say you live by the sword, you die by the sword, not in Paul Walker's case. He lived by the car, died by a tree. Well, I guess the car was stumped.
A child with cancer: "I want to be like you when I grow up." Doctor: "Oh, you're not going to grow up."
What happens to emo kids when they go up?
They never come down.