New Fate Jokes

Danny's Chromebook, Charger in his eager hands, Power for his world.

Fingers click and type, Words flow with electric grace, Thoughts come to life.

Screen illuminates, Imagination takes flight, Limitless pages.

Infinite knowledge, Unleashed through digital realms, Chromebook charger's might.

Danny's trusted friend, Always ready to connect, Bound by cord and fate.

Together they thrive, Exploring vast horizons, Endless possibilities.

Danny with his Chromebook charger, A duo, unstoppable, Unleashing their dreams.

I was sitting in traffic the other day.

Probably why I got run over.

You know when people say a joke about living?

That's because we are all living a joke.

Yo mama so fat, she doesn't count as 1 person bro, she counts as 40 people.

Hey, Reaper!!! Where are you going?

"I finished my job."

What about me?

Some people put zodiacs on everything.

They said they couldn’t go to the party because of cancer.

Jesus saved me from eternal fate, but I didn't want to get saved. I was about to fight Satan on Final Destination before facing and kicking God's ass.

Smash or pass?

"Smash," said the iceberg.

TItanic:...

When they say you live by the sword, you die by the sword, not in Paul Walker's case. He lived by the car, died by a tree. Well, I guess the car was stumped.

A child with cancer: "I want to be like you when I grow up." Doctor: "Oh, you're not going to grow up."

If the noose breaks, stab yourself!

If the knife is dull, shoot yourself!

If the gun's out of ammo, *YOU'RE HERE TO SUFFER ETERNALLY.*

Life is karma... because I was born, God gifted me with social awkwardness, sh*t athletic skills, and stupidity.

My doctor said I only have 1 year to live, so I killed him. Got sentenced to life in prison, problem solved!

If messyourself was on the Titanic, he would die first.

People in 1912: "Titanic is unstoppable, even God couldn't sink this ship."

God: "Bet, where are my icebergs?"

My wife went to Niagara Falls and fell. She broke every bone in her body.

One year later, she recovered. She slipped on an orange peel and died.

So I was asleep and woke up and went to work. My wife left already to her job. I was driving my car and ran over someone. I woke up in my bed, realized it was all a dream.

20 minutes later I got a phone call that my wife got hit by a car.

Suicide is the way to get even with the bitch called probability.

This kid was going to sleep and he said, "Night, Mum. Night, Dad. And night, Grandma, and bye, Grandpa." The next morning, Grandpa died, and the next night he said, "Night, Dad. Night, Mum. Night, Grandma." Grandma died the next morning. The next night he said, "Night, Mum, bye, Dad," and they heard the postman died because he was the dad, lol.