Fat jokes
When a fat person steps on a scale, it says: “To be continued.”
What do whales use to rub out a mistake in their homework? Their blubber.
My friend is gonna release an air strike. There has to be at least 20 confirmed toilet kills.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Your mum's so fat, she broke Britain too!
Me: Yo mama so fat her alphabet starts with O.
My friend: What's that supposed to mean?
Me: O B C D.
If a fat person were to go on a flying car, it will just be at the ground. When they exit, it will just fly up.
Your mama is so ugly, she summoned Bloody Mary.
She handed her an application through the mirror.
Your mama's so fat, she runs a trade deficit with food!
Yo mama so fat that when she tried to get on the train, it said, "Weight limit passed, everyone get off!"
How do you know if a chick is too fat?
If you pull her pants down, her ass is still in them.
Yo mama so fat she made KFC go bankrupt.
Marleigh is so fat and ugly.
Yo mama is so fat that Naruto couldn’t make enough shadow clones to surround her.
Yo mama's so fat that Jane Goodall couldn't tell if she was a chimpanzee or a human being.
Yo mama is so fat that when she was at school, they needed a satellite to take her school photo.
Yo mama so fat, a bombing and 89 stories didn't kill her.
What do you call a fat person in a wheelchair?
A broken wheelchair.
Your mom's so fat, the photo from last Christmas is still printing!
Salman Rushdie got a new book out.
It's called "Buddha. You Fat Cunt."
Old Mother Riley, had a fat cow.
She milked it and milked it but didn't know how, she pulled his tail, pulled his tits. Old Mother Riley was covered in sh!t.