Fat jokes

He's fat!

Yo mama so fat when she asked for a bathtub, they put a blanket over an ocean!

Yo mama so fat, she curves space and time.

Your mum is so fat, when she slept on the bed, the bed cracked and they had to replace it by a dinosaur.

Your mama is so fat that when she jumped, they found water on Mars.

I am a fat girl.

A man walks into a bar and sees a jar of ten dollar bills, so he asks the bartender if it's a jar of tips. The bartender says no, it's for a bet. So the man asks what the bet is and the bartender says, "Well, if you put ten dollars into the jar then knock out the bouncer, next you go outside and remove a rotten tooth out of the rottweiler's mouth, and last you go upstairs and give an orgasm to the fat lady who has never had one. If you can do all those things then you get everything in the jar as well as free drinks for the month." So the guy puts in ten dollars, turns to the guy next to him and knocks him out with one punch. Then the guy continues outside, all you hear for an hour is screaming and whining from the dog. When all is silent, the man walks in and asks, "So where is the fat lady with the tooth?"

Your mom is so fat that if she sits on top of a gas station, she will lower the prices.

My wife is so fat! She wears high heels, she strikes oil.

When she sits around the house, she really sits *around* the house. Every time she turns around, it's her birthday.

Your mom is so fat the space shuttle can see her from 10,000 miles away.

Your mum is so fat, when she was sitting on a scale, the number couldn't even fit on the scale and came shooting out!

Yo mama so fat... she brought a spoon... to the SUPER BOOOOOOWL! YEAHHHHHHH!!!!!

I was driving a car and a fat person was crossing the street. When I swerved my car to miss her, I ran out of gas.

My sis a fat cow.

Yo mama so FAT, she can't handle files bigger than 4 GB.

A funny joke scenario.

Person 1: Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?

Person 2: Because he had no "body" to go with.

Person 1: Because he was ugly, fat, and nobody liked him.

Yo mama so fat, her birth certificate was an apology letter.

Your mama so fat that when she went to McDonald's, they said, "Sorry, you've had enough, ma'am."

What did the orphan say to his dad last?

Please get non-fat milk!

Every time I come in the kitchen, my girl is in the kitchen in the damn refrigerator eating all the food, like the fried chicken, the mashed potatoes, the collard greens, mac and cheese, and the cornbread.

Then I said I wanna eat some of that shit. I love soul food. Then I told her, "You keep it up; your fat ass is going to be big like the house on Haunted Hill."