Fat jokes

You're so fat that you're as big as UY Scuti!

Why are the jokes fat? Because you made it.

The chicken is so fat.

Your mama so fat, when she put a leg in the car, the wheels deflated.

My girlfriend is so fat, she looked into the mirror and said, "Woah, there are two of me!"

Yo mama's so fat, she woke up on both sides of the bed.

Yo mama so fat when she laid on a water bed, she laid on the whole Pacific Ocean.

Life is like a McDonald's meal; it only lasts 7 seconds for fat people.

What do you call a fat man that has a stomach shaped like an egg?

Humpty Dumpty!

Yo mama so fat, when she put on a yellow raincoat people see her and yell "Hey yo, taxi!"

Your mama so fat, Jupiter is smaller than her.

Your mom is so fat, she can't make it through the door.

Me: If a skinny person goes skinny dipping, then what do fat people do?

My friend: Chunky dunks.

If I stepped on a Twix, would you get mad?

You're fat. Don't sugar coat it because you would probably eat that, too.

You're so fat your ass has 2 zip codes.

I have a big bag of Doritos in the kitchen. It's only for people who are skinny, but the fat people can't have any. All they do is suck it up like a lollipop.

Hey, I got some Domino's pizza, salad, breadsticks, and chicken wings for everyone. Yeah, but make sure Ms. Mandingo gorilla don't eat all up, because if she do, I'm going have to shove it up her fur.

Yo mama is so fat, she couldn't even fit through the rabbit hole at first because she ate like a damn pig last night when we had dinner.

This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.