I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a bicycle and a badly dressed man on a unicycle? Attire.
Where do sith get their clothes? At the Darth Maul!
what do you get when you cross a belt and a watch?
a waist of time
I got some new jeans yesterday, until I realised they didn't fit me around the waist so I went looking for a belt. I couldn't find one. Then I had a really good idea. I could attach a ton of watches together to make a belt! But then I just thought it was a waist of time.
Why did the pervert sing Gucci Gang? Because a woman just gave him a lil pump
I wanted to make a belt out of watches, then I realized it was a waste of time!
One day Little Johnny’s class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?” Little Mary says, “The teacher is very intelligent.” The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?” Little Suzie says, “They are very fashionable.” The teacher says, “Johnny, why don’t you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence.” Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy ‘Darling how does my dictate’ "
One day Little Johnny's class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?" Little Mary says, "The teacher is very intelligent." The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?" Little Suzie says, "They are very fashionable." The teacher says, "Johnny, why don't you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence." Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy 'Darling how does my dictate'"
Wife: "How would you describe me?" Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." Wife: "What does that mean?" Husband: "Adorable (A), beautiful (B), cute (C), delightful (D), elegant (E), fashionable (F), gorgeous (G), and hot (H)." Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?" Husband: "I'm just kidding!"
How did the hipster drown?
He ice-skated before it was cool.
What does a house wear? a-dress
What do you call it when a watch has too many belts? -- A waist of your time...
What shoes does a profile wear?
White vans
They have a new line of socks for paraplegics.
They are so comfortable they can't even feel them.
How do you know a hippie is on her period?
Her socks are missing.
How do you know she's off?
Her socks are tye-dye.
Why are Trump's ties so long?
Because they go all the way to Russia.
What do women put on their ears to look more attractive? -- Their knees.
