Fart jokes
This guy went to the gas station to get some gas, and as he asked the cashier for gas he noticed a terrible smell. He asked what the smell was and the cashier replied, "That's your gas, cuz I farted. Now hand me the 20 bucks!"
The guy said, "No, not the kind that comes from your ass, but the kind you put in a car!" The cashier says, "That fart was worth 20 bucks, so beat it!"
Guy says, "I need real gas, nothing about your ass impresses me!" Then another guy gets in line and says, "I know the guy personally, we grew up together. Always trying to be the cool kid in school, bragging about his big horse's ass...no wonder he was always the *butt* of all jokes!"
Why did the cheetah need to fart on the lion? So he could win the race.
*fart* 👀 Oops!
What's the sharpest thing in the world?
A fart... it goes straight through your pants without leaving a hole.
What do you call onions and beans?
Tear gas.
Why are ninjas' farts so dangerous? Because they're silent and deadly.
Little Johnny walked into the bathroom while his dad was taking a dump. As soon as Little Johnny walked in, his dad let out a big FART! Little Johnny said, “WHAT WAS THAT?” His dad said, “That was the sound of the north wind.” The next day his teacher asked the class, “What’s the direction of the north wind?” Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher called on him and he said, “TEACH IT’S MY DADDY’S BOOTY!”
Would you rather watch PL or suck a dick?
Adapt: lemme fart on that dick.
I love to smell skunks, but I lick their stinky butt. It's delicious. My breath smells like fart.
What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?
The fridge don't fart when you take your meat out.
What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the walls.
Teacher: Johnny, can you use a sentence with "definitely" in it?
Little Johnny: Do farts have lumps in them?
Teacher: Of course not, Johnny.
Little Johnny: Then I’ve definitely shat myself.
Have any of you guys heard the classic airplane jokes? Here's a good example...
A farmer, a doctor, and a terrorist are on a plane. An engine fails, and they are going to crash, so the pilot asks everyone to throw out some items. The farmer threw out his apple harvest, the doctor threw out medical supplies, and the terrorist, (not needing a bomb apparently) threw out his briefcase of bombs. They still crashed, and they started walking to the nearest town. They passed a boy who was running. "Why are you running?"
"My dad got hit by a shiny red object and now he's bleeding!"
They three of them decide it's best to keep quiet, and continue. They then passed a crying girl, who said that her brother had been killed by a scalpel from heaven. They said nothing and continued. Finally, they see a boy laughing so much he is in tears. They ask him, "What's so funny?"
"Grandma farted and the house blew up!"
I farted, try me. You farted? Oh no, we all farted.
The plane crashed, but I did too on a pillow.
What does a refrigerator and a gay male have in common?
Only one farts when you pull the meat out. 🌝🌝🌝
You smell like you farted hard. A, B, Honor Roll, all F’s, you retarded!
That moment when you think the music is loud enough to fart and no one would notice, but then you realize that you have headphones on.
What are two things you could call a fart?
"Gas from the ass" or "Odor from the motor!"
Why did the cheetah kill the lion? Because he farted.
I know my jokes suck.
Why was the people's wedding so miserable...
'Cause during the kiss someone farted so loud and stinky, they agreed to never try to have another wedding.