Fart jokes
Have any of you guys heard the classic airplane jokes? Here's a good example...
A farmer, a doctor, and a terrorist are on a plane. An engine fails, and they are going to crash, so the pilot asks everyone to throw out some items. The farmer threw out his apple harvest, the doctor threw out medical supplies, and the terrorist, (not needing a bomb apparently) threw out his briefcase of bombs. They still crashed, and they started walking to the nearest town. They passed a boy who was running. "Why are you running?"
"My dad got hit by a shiny red object and now he's bleeding!"
They three of them decide it's best to keep quiet, and continue. They then passed a crying girl, who said that her brother had been killed by a scalpel from heaven. They said nothing and continued. Finally, they see a boy laughing so much he is in tears. They ask him, "What's so funny?"
"Grandma farted and the house blew up!"
I farted, try me. You farted? Oh no, we all farted.
The plane crashed, but I did too on a pillow.
What does a refrigerator and a gay male have in common?
Only one farts when you pull the meat out. 🌝🌝🌝
You smell like you farted hard. A, B, Honor Roll, all F’s, you retarded!
That moment when you think the music is loud enough to fart and no one would notice, but then you realize that you have headphones on.
What are two things you could call a fart?
"Gas from the ass" or "Odor from the motor!"
Why did the cheetah kill the lion? Because he farted.
I know my jokes suck.
Why was the people's wedding so miserable...
'Cause during the kiss someone farted so loud and stinky, they agreed to never try to have another wedding.
Michael doesn’t fart. Jackson does.
Did you just fart a minute ago in the dumpster? I can tell you probably had a mud burrito for breakfast.
What do you get when a dinosaur farts?
A blast from the past!
Why did Kristen Stewart fart on the set of Charlie's Angels? Because she ate too much damn chili for breakfast I made for her. I just forgot to put my foot in it.
Why did Bella Thorne pass gas on "Shake It Up Chicago?" Because I gave her too split pea soup for breakfast.
"Hey man, what's that, a dynamite you have in your hand? Ok, well hold it over. I'll give it right back."
"Oh no, I won't!"
"Oh yes, you will!"
"Oh, I won't!"
"Oh yes, you will!"
"Ok fine, then you take it or I'll blow our your butt before it farts."
How does NASA fart?
They fart with their ass-teroids.
Why did a cheetah fart? It needed more gas.
What do doctors say to patients who blow wind backwards?
DON'T PUT THE FART BEFORE THE FORCE!!
Someone cutting the cheese then farted.
Someone sees the cheese, and it smelled like crap (literally). He said, "Who cut the cheese?"
What do you get when the queen farts a noble gas?
What do you get when a dino farts? A blast from the past.
Why are ninja farts so dangerous? They are silent but deadly.
I farted how bout u?