Farm jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he wanted to get to the other side and meet his friend.
What do sheep hate?
Their enemies: goats!
What do you call a Mexican rooster?
Un gallo pelón.
A kid milks a cow and goes to school and tells his friends, "I milked a cow, and it took awhile for it to warm up." His brother came over and said, "We don't have cows, we have bulls."
What did the cow say when it saw the farmer twice in one day?
"Deja moo!"
What do you call a masturbating cow?
Beef stroganoff.
Why do cows have babies?
They moo-ved together.
How do cows like to play games? Moobile (Mobile).
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? -- Because the cow has the udder.
What do you call a broken chicken?
A broken chicken.
What’s 12 inches and is moist inside?
My record holding cucumbers, locally grown at my farm.
I had problems milking my cow one morning. It was an udder failure.
What kind of milk does a new age calf drink?
Dairy free.
What happens when a cow jumps over a wire fence?
Udder destruction.
Two cows in a field.
One says to the other, "Mooooooo!"
The other says, "Tut, I was gonna say that!"
We just got a new chicken-proof lawn. It's impeccable.
What's worse than throwing a baby off a cliff?
Catching it with a pitchfork.
Did you hear about the boy who sat under a cow?
He got a pat on the head.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house!
Knock knock?
Who's there?
The chicken.
The chicken who?
The idiot chicken who just crossed the road!!!
What goes "Ooooooo"?
A cow with no lips.