Why did the turkey cross the road?
Answer:
To prove it wasn't chicken!
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the Moo-vie theater.
What’s the cow's favorite place to go? The moovies!
Two drunk men spot a pig on some old farmer's land.
And they were real hungry (or so they said), and they both decided to take the pig with them into their car and eat it somewhere.
And so they did, and the farmer came out with a gun while they hurriedly drove off, and the farmer said, "Well goddammit, if it was a pig they wanted, why didn't they just take my wife?"
What kind of bees produce milk?
Boobies.
Why did the cow smell?
'Cause the horse gave it a pat on the back.
What do you call a fantastic goat?
Goatastic! So funny please like.
My sister has cows, and after 4 months, she said there was a mis-steak.
What happened when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence? Complete and utter destruction.
What did the cow say to the other?
"Cheese!"
Did you hear about the boy who sat under a cow?
He got a pat on the head.
Why do cows have big [udders]? Because they have big balls.
What came first, the chicken or the egg?
I don't know, go google it.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the “utter” side.
We were discussing cows in a lesson. I asked my teacher why she was one.
Why can you never find a virgin cow on a field with no bulls for miles? Just ask the redneck farmer.
Little Johnny comes down for breakfast because he lives on a farm, and his mother asks if he has done his chores or not.
"Not yet," says little Johnny, so he goes to feed the chickens, cows, and pigs. He ends up kicking the chickens, cows, and pigs and goes inside and asks why he got a dry bowl of cereal. His mother responds with, "I saw you kick the chickens, so no eggs for a week. I also saw you kick the pigs, so no bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cows, so no milk for a week either."
Little Johnny's father comes downstairs and kicks the cats. Little Johnny looks at his mother and says, "You want to tell him, or should I?"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
What do you call a three-legged cow?
Disabled.
A guy walks into the house carrying a sheep and says out loud, "This is the pig I screw when you're on the rag."
His wife replies, "That's not a pig, it's a sheep."
He says, "I was talking to the sheep."
