What kind of udder likes McDonald's?
Udderly unhealthy.
Dad: You’re looking pretty sheepish.
Son: That’s too baaaaaad!
Sheep want to wool the world :)
Where do cows go for entertainment?
The MOOOOvie theater.
What happens to chickens that get kidnapped by rapists?
They get choked.
A farmer counted 196 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 200.
Fancy playing rodeo sex?
"OK then," she said!
Then put your dick in her ass and say it’s not as tight as your sister’s ass and hold on for dear life... real life cow bow boy shit!
So in class, they were learning about where food comes from:
Teacher: So kids, where does bacon come from?
Student: PIGS!
Teacher: Correct. Where does mutton come from?
Student: SHEEP!
Teacher: And finally, here’s your homework.
Student: IK where that comes from!
A FAT COW! 😂😂
I was going to tell you a cow joke...
But it's pasture bed time.
How are a mouse and a bale of hay alike?
The cat'll eat it (the cattle eat it).
Old Mother Riley, had a fat cow.
She milked it and milked it but didn't know how, she pulled his tail, pulled his tits. Old Mother Riley was covered in sh!t.
My friend asked me to round up here 37 sheep.
I said “40.”
What did the angry cow say to its enemy?
"We have beef!"
I say "cow poop," cows say "moonure."
What do cows use to do their homework? A cowculator.
What did mama cow say to baby cow? -- "It's pasture bedtime."
A momma cow and three baby calves are on a farm. The first baby calf asks the momma cow, "Mom, why is my name Rose?"
The mom responded, "Well, you see, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."
The second one asks her, "Then why is my name Daisy?"
The mom chuckled and simply replied with, "When you were born, Daisy petals fell on your head."
The last one said, "DUH DUR SURH!"
The mom said, "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!"
There were 25 cows, 28 chickens. How many didn't?
(Ten, if you count in base 13!)
What do you call a calf that is in no way brave?
A coward.
I tried to eat ass once. The donkeys got one hell of a kick!
