What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
I was going to tell you a cow joke...
But it's pasture bed time.
What did mama cow say to baby cow? -- "It's pasture bedtime."
One time, a cow saved my life. -- It was bovine intervention.
What do you call shaving a crazy sheep? -- Shear madness.
Where do cows go on holiday? -- Moo Zealand.
What do you call a cow who plays an instrument? -- A moosician.
How does a cow become invisible? -- Through camooflage.
Why are theaters popular among cows? -- They enjoy watching moovies.
Two horses are standing in a field. "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse," says the first.
"Moo!" says the second.
How do you count cows? -- With a cowculator.
Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?
All they said was, "Bach, Bach, Bach..."
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? -- Because the cow has the udder.
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? -- Because they lactose.
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work.
What do you call cows that have a sense of humor? -- Laughing stock.
Why do shepherds never learn to count?
Because if they did, they would always be falling asleep.
Where did the sheep get a haircut?
At the baa-baa shop.
