What did the cow call its own life? An udder mistake.
Farm Jokes
My friend asked me to round up here 37 sheep.
I said “40.”
You
You
You're the cow.
How did the cow break up with the other cow? He said he moo-ved on.
Why did the cow eat?
Because it was hungry.
What’s the cow's favorite place to go? The moovies!
Mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo - u
Two drunk men spot a pig on some old farmer's land.
And they were real hungry (or so they said), and they both decided to take the pig with them into their car and eat it somewhere.
And so they did, and the farmer came out with a gun while they hurriedly drove off, and the farmer said, "Well goddammit, if it was a pig they wanted, why didn't they just take my wife?"
Teacher: Kids, what does a chicken give you?
Students: Eggs.
Teacher: Very good. Now, what does the pig give you?
Kids: Bacon.
Teacher: Excellent. Now, what does the fat cow give you?
Kids: Homework.
What do you call a cow?
A cow!
Two cows standing in a paddock, one says, "Moo." The other turns to him and says, "I was just going to say that!"
I had to give up my vegetarian diet.
Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.
What do you call a sheep with wings?
What do you get from a dwarf cow?
Condensed milk.
Your name is so damn retarded you got sent to the animal farm.
Why were the cows so noisy in the barn?
Because they had horns!
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Cow says,
"Cow says who?"
No! Cow says moo!
Why did the roster cross the road twice?
To prove it was not a chicken.
What did the cow say to the farmer? Moo away!
What do you call a cow that has two legs shorter on one side of its body compared to the other?
LEAN BEEF!
