When your mum tells you to help your granny And you in plug life support
Why did the chicken cross the rode? because North Korea's long-range missiles can't reach that far.
The Wife said "Honey! Do you like my new Teeth?"
The Husband replied "They remind me of stars Darling!" "Yellow and Far apart"
Konan was having sex on the couch, thinking how he'd come so far.
Knock knock Hwos here? Far from home hwos far from home Spider man
Steven Hawking died because he was to far away from the Wi-Fi router
He drove to far away from the wall and the cord unplugged
Stephen Hawking died because he rolled to far from the outlet.
two nuns were sitting on a bench, a flasher flashed them and one of the nuns had a stroke ... but the other one was to far away : )
Your at a buffet, you think your hungry for two, but misfortune happens when you think of your self, you get stuck looking at sides in the buffet, a roly poly gal you see in corner of your eye, eyeballing the main dishes in front at the end, you go in for the pickings, you get intercepted by a far more hungrier matter, but you find yourself getting slamed over the buffet table, and realize you are gasping for air, and she's is tenderizing you for dinner.
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: ‘What the hell was that all about?’
Read more: https://metro.co.uk/2015/11/26/the-ten-funniest-jokes-ever-according-to-science-5527698/?ito=cbshare
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To mama so far when she wanted to get wet she used the highway as a slippn' slide
A man walks into a diner one day, walks up to the counter, and proceeds to order a bowl a chili.
The waitress says that the man sitting next to him just ordered the last bowl they had. That man was just sitting there, not eating the chili.
After watching him not eating for a while, the first man asks him, "Are you going to eat that?"
The second man replies, "No, you can have it if you want."
So the first man takes the bowl and starts eating.
About halfway through the bowl, he's chewing when he feels a crunch. He looks down only to see half a dead rat sitting in the chili.
He immediately throws all of it up, back into the bowl.
The second man looks at him and says, "Yeah, that's about as far as I got too."
I knew the human race made mistakes but your the worst i've seen so far...
if it is some-ones birthday say this for a joke a long time ago in a far away galaxy
YOU WERE BORN!!!!
Stupid joke about Stephen Hawking that wasn't funny the first fucking time
Stephen hawking drove too far from the wall and unplugged
He also forgot to pay the power bill
If you replaced the boss in Portal with a boy you would hear Stephen Hawking
Climb high climb far Get high get far
The make a wish foundation has gone too far. All of the make a wish kids asked for cancer to be gone so they just gave the cancer to all of the make a wish kids.
3 blonde girls are on an isalnd and they are much to far away from land to swim, they find a genie on the island who offers them each 1 wish the first girl says "I wish I was smart enough to get off this island" so the genie makes her a redheaded girl, she cuts down a tree, makes it into a boat, and proceeds to row off the island. The next girl says "I wish I was even smarter then her so I don't have to do so much manual labor" so she turns into a brunet and makes a sail boat and lets the wind take her off the island. The finale girl says "I wish I was smarter then both of them!" So she turns into a man and takes the bridge.
