Family jokes
My mum told me to take you to the zoo and throw you in the lake, but I couldn't find you.
Why does an orphan go to church?
So they can call someone "father."
Kid: I need help!
Mom: Help your balls.
I remember my son's last words: "I stubbed my toe!"
Yo momma so fat when she went in the Skeld, she couldn't be ejected.
People have houses, but I don't have a house because I don't have parents, said the orphan.
It’s funny my sister wanted to have sex with me.
Did you hear about the cannibal that passed his brother in the woods?
I fucked your mum last night, that she was salty.
Hey, don’t Orpheus have friends because people do have family?
Why is an orphan like a boomerang? Because they always come back.
You so gay you have a fat sis and?
My dad died in 9/11....
He was a good driver.
What did the brother say to the other brother? "You are brother, brother."
My pansexual son was asked to form a sentence with a word "Carry" on his zoom class earlier on today and he said "Pessi was carried by Iniesta and Neymar to his Mickey Mouse UCL". He received a standing ovation. Children are our hope and I'm proud of the education system!
Doctor: “You’ll be at peace soon.”
Man: “Am I dying?”
Doctor: “No, your wife is.”
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
That's why your grandma 6 ft deep, feet!
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they don't have someone to call daddy.
Why was the orphan's first phone an XR?
Because it had no home button.