Family jokes
Me: Hey, you want to hear a dark joke?
Brother: Sure.
Me: Turn off the light.
LBB- me and Shrek built a theme park for you mummy and it’s called Dummy pee pee poo poo doo doo land because Shrek likes to poop.
Shrek- Should I pull the trap?
*LBB’s mom walks into the trap*
LBB and Shrek- surprise we’re mailing you to Peepoo Peepoo AB
What do kids have in comments? They have parents, right?
Why do orphan kids never eat homemade food? Because they don’t even have one!
When you ask your brother where his hairline is, and he points where it's supposed to be, and you say, "I don't see one there."
Yo mamma sucks!
I kicked my leg into my dad's balls in 1999.
Last night little Johnny went to his room and saw people hanging out there, little balls.
My wife is pregnant with a 3-year-old, so I gave her medicine, but now she’s pregnant with a 5-year-old.
That's why your grandma 6 ft deep, feet!
Did you hear about the cannibal that passed his brother in the woods?
Kid: I need help!
Mom: Help your balls.
Doctor: “You’ll be at peace soon.”
Man: “Am I dying?”
Doctor: “No, your wife is.”
I love telling good news to my patients, like they survived the crash but their family died.
My mum told me to take you to the zoo and throw you in the lake, but I couldn't find you.
Why does an orphan go to church?
So they can call someone "father."
Hey, don’t Orpheus have friends because people do have family?
My pansexual son was asked to form a sentence with a word "Carry" on his zoom class earlier on today and he said "Pessi was carried by Iniesta and Neymar to his Mickey Mouse UCL". He received a standing ovation. Children are our hope and I'm proud of the education system!
Your so fat, my sister said. I said, "So at least I ain't fatter than your momma."
I asked an orphan where his parents were. Then I remembered, they're gone.