Family jokes
Uh, uh, fuck me, daddy!
What's the difference between milk and my dad?
Nothing, I apparently am allergic to both because I never see either of them.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
It’s the police, ma’am, your son got hit by a drunken driver. He’s dead.
Why do orphans have no parents?
Because they are so fucking useless!
Your hairline is so ugly, like your mum.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
"Orphans get picked."
Your hairline is so fat that when you meet Santa, you're fatter than him and your mom.
What is the similarity between Hitler and orphans?
They both don't have parents.
What is an orphan's least favorite store?
Home Depot.
Why is it OK to hit an orphan?
Because they can’t tell their parents.
Person 1: How the freak did you get in my house?!?! I locked the door!!!
Person 2: But I'm your mom... I have a key. You dumbass.
Yo mama so stupid, when I told her she needed some cats, she came back with...
CRASH, ARENA, TURBO STARS!
Yo mama so fat, when you married your sister, she was big enough to sit on the groom's side and the bride's side.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't make it a home run.
What has two names and one big home?
A person.
Billy and Nanny have 2 kids.
Dad: "I'll be back in a minute."
20 years later
Orphan: "Dad?"
Why do orphans love dogs?
Because dogs stay with them.
Why are orphans lonely?
Because they don't have parents to talk to.