Family jokes
What’s an orphan's favorite Marvel film?
Spider-Man: Far From Home.
A boy is about to be sentenced for killing his parents. He begs the judge to spare his life. The judge asks for one good reason he should be shown any mercy. The boy replies, "I’m an orphan, your honor."
Roses are red, flowers are pretty, I heard your mom has a nice pair of titties.
Bully: I bet your dick is so small when you look down you can't see it.
Guy: I don't, I see your mom.
What's the difference between a mother and a pigeon?
One doesn't eat their husband out.
There were three babies in a mom's stomach. One baby asks, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" The other baby answers, "A doctor. I want to help people. What about you?"
"I want to be an engineer. I want to make things. What about you?" he asks to the third baby.
"I want to be a hunter."
"Why?" the other babies ask.
"I want to kill the snake that spits on my face."
How do orphans have a family reunion?
They use a Ouija board.
TEST QUESTION: what looks like half an apple?
My cousin: the other half.
Why is it so easy to bully an orphan? What are they gonna do, tell their mum?
What is the difference between a condom and an orphan?
One of them is used.
My first time sex was like buying my first used, crappy car.
I didn't want it, but Dad gave it to me anyway.
My dad told me to do what he did best, so I left.
The daughter of an incestuous pedophile goes into the living room where he is watching TV and asks him if she can borrow the car that evening.
"Sure honey! If you suck my dick!"
So she gets down on him but something is wrong. She pops her head up and says: "Dad! This tastes like shit!"
"Oh yeah, I forgot," says the father. "I already gave your brother the car for tonight."
What’s an orphan’s favorite movie character?
Harry Potter.
A wife was cleaning her 12-year-old son’s bedroom when she found a load of serious bondage gear and fetish mags. She asked her husband, “What do we do?”
The husband said, “I’m no expert, but I wouldn’t fucking spank him.”
Roses are red, violets are blue. Your mom isn't here because she doesn't love you.
I went to the orphanage and yelled "your mama" jokes.
From your mom.
Roses are red, violets are violets, my dad died in 9/11 and he was a good pilot.
Why is Mrs. Grapes 🍇 a good mother?
Because she loves raisin' kids.
My wife purely hates me for me having sex with our daughter. It's not my fault I couldn't wait to get out of the abortion clinic!