Family jokes
Why can't orphans have a Christmas list? Because they can't give it to their parents to tell Santa.
This midget in my school has two moms. I said, "Did your dad go get the milk?" He told me to shut up. I said, "I don’t shut up, I grow up like you should."
My sister said I was only allowed to grate cheese, so I said to her that I’d prove her wrong.
The next day my mum asked me why my cheese was tan, and I said it was my own special recipe. My mum loved the cheese but she didn’t like it much after the funeral.
Why is everyone trying to make a big deal out of this? My family were only flying to Pakistan and crashed into 2 towers.
Bully (😏): Name 3 things you don't have.
Orphan named Kaiel (😔): Um... a dog... a doll... and a credit card.
Bully (😡): NO!
Orphan named Kaiel (😟): Sorry, what???
Bully (🤣): Parents. Family. And a home with people you love.
HERE ARE MY DOGS
Why do orphans not love their parents?
Because they don’t have parents.
Why do orphans not have parents?
Answer: Their parents are yeet dead dead.
Knock knock. Who's there? Not your dad.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because it could not find home.
Why do orphans play baseball?
So they can touch home.
Where did a chicken orphan go?
A foster home.
Why can’t orphans have a house pet?
Because its parents have it to itself.
I called my sister a party pooper after she came to my party uninvited.
Grampa said that the only ones who poop at parties are the ones who don't get invited.
So I guess that means I was the party pooper at my own birthday?
You: I want my mama.
Me: Soz, you can't even get one.
When your mom tells you to stop playing on the computer, you say, "Foot you!"
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find their way home.
My dad said I need to eat more. I don't know why, but his fat ass needs to stop eating.
Why can orphans get away with being bad at school? Because when the teacher says, "I want to have a parent/teacher conference," they just go about their day.
Why do orphans not play Call of Duty?
Because they have to land at houses.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can't go home.