Family jokes
Your mom.
A teacher was teaching her second-grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her students to ask their parents what the government is.
When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and asked him what the government was. His dad thought for a while and answered, “Look at it this way: I’m the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the workforce, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.”
“I still don’t get it,” responded Little Johnny.
“Why don’t you sleep on it then? Maybe you’ll understand it better,” said the dad.
“Okay then...good night,” said Little Johnny, and went off to bed.
In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother’s crying. He went to his baby brother’s crib and found that his baby brother shit in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent’s room to get help. When he got to his parent’s bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole, he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn’t there. So he went to the maid’s room. When he looked through the maid’s room keyhole, he saw his dad fucking his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, "OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is fucking the workforce, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of shit!"
Did you know that...the only reason you don't call priests "daddy" is because that's what you call them in sex!
Your mommy.
Yo mama got a daughter in a relationship, and I don't have time for you, ASAP, daughter, daughter, or your mother, or your call, or your choice of choice.
Ya mums, ya dad.
Kid: Your mom!
Orphan: I don't have a mom.
I bet you eat your cereal with water because your dad never came back with the milk.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Not your.
Not your who?
Not your mama!
Yo mama's ass is mad crusty.
My mom is actually a mum! 😱
Roses are red, her name is Lily, she bends over, and said "HARDER, DADDY!"
"Stop bullying me!"
Chris Benoit is like a depressed orphan because he killed his family.
I ear ass your dad's ass and he likes it.
My sister said she was as fat as a coconut, so I threw one at her and she was right.
Why can’t orphans go to a field trip?
Parent signature: __________
Why did the orphans have in common? They both don't have parents.
If you hit 9999 orphans and they all tell each other, are the other orphans their parents???
Why did your parents abandon you?
Because the first thing you dad said to be was; "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WIFE."
Yo dad's so stupid, he came back with the milk!