Family jokes

When you're playing online with your friend, then you hear a kid scream: "No, Dad, please stop!" Scream ends with a gunshot.

Want to hear a joke? I swear it isn't about my life again.

My mom and dad made a joke together and called it "yeetsu" (me)!

I still to this day remember my grandpa's last words.

"I'M ALLERGIC TO FUCKING CATS!"

Sisters before misters.

I hope you get better.

I love you.

Why can’t orphans play baseball/softball?

They never get to home!

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

Because they can’t find home.

My dad called me as I said I shit in my sister's mouth. Impossible? Nope.

Why can’t an orphan play baseball? Because he can’t find home plate.

Why can't an orphan hit a home run? Because they don't know where home is.

Why are orphans so gayyyyyyy?

Why do orphans enjoy orgasms?

Yo mama's so dumb, her dad said, "You're driving me crazy," and she said, "I didn't know crazy was a place!"

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because it's not original at all.

What's an orphan's favorite sport?

Baseball, because they finally have a home.

Why can't orphans be gay?

Because they don't have someone to call daddy.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they don't know where home is.

Why can an orphan go to a store to buy something and what can come back home?

Because they don't have a home.

Q. Why can't orphans play baseball?

A. Because they don't know where home is.

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

Because they don't know where home is.

A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work, not aware that her 9-year-old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has company.

Boy: "Dark in here." Man: "Yes, it is." Boy: "I have a baseball." Man: "That's nice." Boy: "Want to buy it?" Man: "No, thanks." Boy: "That's my dad outside." Man: "How much did you say the baseball was again?" Boy: "$250."

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are in the closet together.

Boy: "Dark in here." Man: "Yes, it is." Boy: "I have a baseball glove." Man: "That's nice." Boy: "Want to buy it?" Man: "No, thanks." Boy: "I think I just remembered something I needed to tell my dad." Man: "How much did you say the glove was again?" Boy: "$750." Man: "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball!" The boy says, "I can't. I sold them." The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?" The son says, "$1,000." The father says, "It's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."

They go to church and the father alerts the priest and makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here." The priest says, "Do not start that shit again!"