Family jokes

An Asian gets a choice between his rice cooker or his son. He instantly picks the cooker and says, "He got a B+ in maths last week; he's a failure!"

Your hairline receded just like your father did years ago.

Orphan joke.

Can someone be my daddy?

What's an orphan's favorite sport?

Baseball, because they finally have a home.

I told my wife I needed a blood transfusion when I could not remember. She said, "Be positive too."

Bad, I am now a ghost writing this.

LBB- me and Shrek built a theme park for you mummy and it’s called Dummy pee pee poo poo doo doo land because Shrek likes to poop.

Shrek- Should I pull the trap?

*LBB’s mom walks into the trap*

LBB and Shrek- surprise we’re mailing you to Peepoo Peepoo AB

Hi, I'm Adopt, and you guys hurt my feelings. It is not God :(😔😞😔🥺. I'm just a kid. I'm 7.

Your hairline is so ugly it looks worse than your mom's.

Me: Hey, you want to hear a dark joke?

Brother: Sure.

Me: Turn off the light.

Yo mama's so dumb, her dad said, "You're driving me crazy," and she said, "I didn't know crazy was a place!"

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because it's not original at all.

When you're playing online with your friend, then you hear a kid scream: "No, Dad, please stop!" Scream ends with a gunshot.

Want to hear a joke? I swear it isn't about my life again.

My mom and dad made a joke together and called it "yeetsu" (me)!

When you’re having the best sex in your life and your grandma says, “I’m not dead!”

Joe Mama!

Your mom stinks.

That is my joke.

You mom doesn’t really stink.

I know I am stupid. 🤕

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "You're." "You're who?" "You're adopted!"

Yesterday, I saw an advert with a random woman dancing, and someone said that they were beautiful.

And then I said, "Except the fat people." And then I got sent to my room for saying that.

What does a homeless man call his mother?

Useless.