What do you call your mom when she goes into the shower?
A shower ma! (shawarma)
Daddy, why is this red soup so sweet?
Because your mother has diabetes.
Your mum's got big tits.
Your mom gay.
What has two names and one big home?
A person.
When you're excited to finally see your sister, and then you realize she's wearing your clothes.
What do you think of your mom? I can do it.
Adopted kid:
Hey, Alex, what are you doing?
Alex:
Nothing, just playing my game. Anyways, you know you can call me "dad."
Adopted kid:
OK, dad Alex.
Alex:
Oh, come on! My game! Iβm winning. Letβs go!
Adopted kid:
Iβm so glad I have a mom.
Bro, if you think about it, your mom and God have one thing in common... They're both big.
What's the difference between milk and my dad?
Nothing, I apparently am allergic to both because I never see either of them.
Why can orphans get away with being bad at school? Because when the teacher says, "I want to have a parent/teacher conference," they just go about their day.
What can't an orphan spell?
Home.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can't go home.
When you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Why was Timmy sad? Because his dad stapled a frog to his forehead.
Why do orphans play baseball?
So they can touch home.
Why do orphans not love their parents?
Because they donβt have parents.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because it could not find home.
Fat moms.
Knock knock. Who's there? Not your dad.
