Family jokes
What do you call an orphan who can't get 5 stars on GTA?
Not wanted.
I fed a vegan cock. No, not chicken, no, not my cock, my dead dad's.
What show can the orphan relate to... Full House.
Fuck you and your shitty family!
I dated an orphan and then later married him for 7 years until he told me he was an orphan.
What can't an orphan spell?
Home.
Son, why do I not have an Easter basket?
Mom, you're 23, you don't need one. Ends calls, child support.
Why can't orphans have a Christmas list? Because they can't give it to their parents to tell Santa.
Your mom was born in a dumpster, as well as you.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
"Orphans get picked."
Why is it OK to hit an orphan?
Because they can’t tell their parents.
A pastor asked his child what his favorite bible verse was... He responded, "Keep watch," because he wanted a watch.
What is an orphan's least favorite store?
Home Depot.
Your mom is FAAAAAAAAAT as FUCK.
This midget in my school has two moms. I said, "Did your dad go get the milk?" He told me to shut up. I said, "I don’t shut up, I grow up like you should."
My sister said I was only allowed to grate cheese, so I said to her that I’d prove her wrong.
The next day my mum asked me why my cheese was tan, and I said it was my own special recipe. My mum loved the cheese but she didn’t like it much after the funeral.
Why is everyone trying to make a big deal out of this? My family were only flying to Pakistan and crashed into 2 towers.
Why did the orphan live at school?
Because on the first day his parents didn’t pick him up.
Mom (DYM 65).
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can't go home.