Family jokes
So my dad walks into a bar and there was a hooker and a child. I was with him and they both approached us and they said only £50 for head but it was a little weird that the child was talking to my dad and the hooker was talking to me. I was about to say something but my dad pushed me over and my friend's uncle killed my dad.
The kid was never seen again. Her name was Madeleine McCann. I think I'm the only one who knows where she is, but overall the head from the hooker was good.
My mom left me at a very young age.
Q: I often think I'm ugly, but then I think of my sister and get over it.
"Hey Modda, I'm hungry."
Some kid online: I f*cked your mom.
Me, an orphan: Jokes on you, I don’t have one!
Peter: *curses*
Sam: Wow, do you kiss your mom with that mouth?
Peter: Jokes on you, I don't have a mom.
Tony: *having a heart attack* AFSJDHFKJJD Peter, we talked about this!!!
Little off topic but...
Mum: You wouldn't be here without me.
Son: And my birth certificate is a sorry letter from the condom factory.
Mum: Fair point.
Why do Black people go to church so much?
Because the priest is the only father they know.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples are picked.
Your nan's gay.
Friend: I have the eye of the tiger.
Me: So what? I have the balls of a gorilla.
Parents: We can't come back to the zoo next week!
Why are orphans always so successful? Because when they're told "go big or go home," they only have one option.
My sister and a basketball got certain things in common.
My sister's tits and ass are bouncy like a basketball.
My mom gave my friend a blow job for good luck on his job interview, then my mom gave my other friend a blow job for his interview, and they both got the job. Now who needs good luck? Just ask my mom. My mom is a good luck charm.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home plate.
I love my family when they're buried alive.
The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed.
Father: Son, you can do butter!
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have nobody to call "daddy."
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One actually gets picked.
Children and your meat are actually quite similar.
At first you seem weirded out by spanking it, but later on you start to enjoy it.