Family jokes

Damn, the guy who made the "Whip/Nae Nae" song really made his cousin go Silento.

Marriage is really educational.

When I was single, I didn't even know there was a wrong way to put a fork in the dishwasher.

Why do orphans like boomerangs?

Because they come back.

I once saw an orphan... I decided to ask them a simple question... "Hey! Where is your family?"

They didn't reply.

I kept asking them. They started crying. I started laughing. They ran away...

A kid calls out for his mom one day while he is in the tub and says, "Mom come quick! I'm walking on water!"

And the mom runs in and says, "I knew evon whatent yo daddy! I ain't never slept with him a day my life!"

The top worst thing for an orphan, and probably the most awkward one, is when they're having sex and the other person is calling them "mommy" or "daddy."

My grandma always loved to craft clothing. She dyed last week.

What's the difference between an orphan and a pencil?

People actually have a use for one of them.

Why can't orphans complete homework?

Because they have no home!

You’re so fat,

that your family moved to the other side of the U.S.A., but they still see you.

Daveon says, "Oh wow, she's so beautiful!" The doctor then says, "Yes, but sadly, your wife didn't make it..." Daveon then states, "Give me the one my wife made then!"

My cousin really loves baseball.

He always brags about how many home runs he hit in the minors.

Why do orphans want to be criminals? Because they want to feel what it’s like to be wanted.

One time, little Johnny was watching TikTok, and he saw a toy that he wanted so badly, so he cleaned up the whole house and did his homework. When he was done, he saw a spill on the table. He went to the sink to grab a cloth, but when he came back, it was gone. He went to his mom's room and saw a drink with the label "daddy's drink," so he drunk it and said, "It's daddy's; he won't mind," and all day he was like the Flash. So he went back, turned the bottle around, and it said "Speedy," and then he said, "Oh, great heavens!"

I will call my kid Monday, because whenever I see him, I feel disappointment.

To start off this Christmas season, I'ma make a list of what I want, then I'ma make plans with my family, then to start off my decorations, I'ma start with the first ornament and hang myself.

Why can't orphans go outside?

Because they have no parents to watch them!

Dad, I'm hungry.

Hi, hungry, I'm Dad! 👋🍪🍩🍬🌮🍔🍗🍟🍤🍉🍭🍫🍰

I was playing baseball with orphans, but when they hit a homerun, they had nowhere to go.

Your sister is your mother.

Your father is your brother.

You all shag one another.

The Inbred family.