what do you call an orphan if every other orphan gets picked? someone: ugly? me: no, trick question, they are still and orphan.
What's the difference between my girlfriend and my uncle? my girlfriend didn't go to jail for loving me.
School teacher: "Hey kid. why don't you just go home to your family?" Orphan: "My family never came back for me" School teacher: "Your daddy must of really needed that milk"
My Relatives Always Teased Me During Weddings saying " You'll Be Next " But they Stopped when I did the same to them during Funerals
Secretly, Iβm a woman catfishing gay men on Grindr. When a notification from the app went off, my son told me, βIβve heard that sound, daddy has that game too!β
I like telling dad jokes.
He laughs at most of them.
I have so many orphan jokes im afraid most of them wont hit home.
what's a penguin's favourite relative?
Aunt Arctic
Q. What type of flour do orphans get? A. Self-raising flour
Why did the silly boy π¦ take the Christmas tree π to a barber?
Because his mother said it needed to be trimmed.
What does a transgender call his/her parent? Transparent.
Once my dad left to get milk then I realized we own a cow.
I went to see my grandfather in the hospital because I Wanted to get to know him better before he passed, maybe take a selfie with him. But when I got there my phone died so I unplugged a vacuum to plug in my phone, and it turns out he only knows Spanish so When he kept saying "Me desconectaste el soporte de mi vida." I thought he wanted water, but when I got back with the water he was asleep and now my phone was charged so I translated what he said. And it was "You unplugged my life support", that's when I called the doctor...
Good news is, I got one sick selfie!
You know those paper families you cut out? Well I put one of those in an orphanage.
Girl 1: Dad, why is my name rose? Dad: because a rose landed on your head. Girl 2: Hey dad, why is my name daisy? Dad: because a daisy landed on your head. Boy: Hitddvjkyrefbhhhrurrrr! Dad: Oh, Hey Brick!
Little Johnny was walking down an alley and saw a lamp. After he rubbed it a genie came out and said "You have 10 seconds to have one wish". Little Johny says he wants to pee alcohol. The genie grants his wish. He tells his family and his sister doesn't believe it. After having a drink she says, "We should have this every night!". Little Johny gets two cups every night one for him and his sister. He does the same thing for four nights. Eventually he ran out of cups and has one left. He gives on himself and his sister asks, "Wheres my cup?". little Johny replied, "Your drinking out of the bottle tonight".
Why wouldnβt Mrs Grapes π leave her children behind?
Because she loves raisin kids.
One day little Johnny woke up to get a drink of water. He passed by his parent's bedroom and noticed sheets bouncing. He asked his dad what he was doing he said playing cards, Little Johnny said who is your partner? dad said his mom on his way up he passed by his sisters room and noticed sheets Bouncing around and asked what sheβs doing she said playing cards with my boyfriend, Paul. Next day dad came to ask Johnny a questions The father noticed Johnny was still in bed and asked him what he was doing. He saw sheet bouncing and asked Johnny what he was doing he said playing cards. His dad asked him who is his partner was little johnny said you donβt need a partner if you have a good hand
Why ate orphans so Skinny? Thry never eat anything tjat is family size
Incest is wincest (That was above) Fun for the whole family! Next of kin, count me in!
