Family jokes
What has eight legs and leaves kids alone? The Jackson 4.
What's an orphan's favorite movie? Spiderman: No Way Home.
I would tell you an orphan joke, ehh I’ll just tell your parents instead.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't hit a home run.
Why does an orphan wanna be a criminal?
Because they wanna be wanted.
*The talk*
Why do the twin towers and my mom have in common? They fell over.
I was happy for once, and my family was happy I was happy, but that all changed when they found out I was thinking about bridges and humans.
Why can't orphans work at McDonald's? Because they call their employees family.
Your mom is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.
What did the orphan ask Santa for? A good family.
Imagine getting a call and it says, "Welcome to David's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may we help you?"
What do orphans, parents, and trees have in common? They leafed.
I was tickling my step brother's balls, and then it hit me: why is he laughing?
That poor kid, he was fine until I bought him a mother's day card for his mum. The second he saw it, he burst out crying...
My mom thinks I need to stop objectifying women. I think she is overreacting.
She asked why I broke up with the last girl, and I said,
"It didn't work out."
She told me to be more specific, so I said,
"I just told you, she didn't exercise."
What's a joke that an orphan has never heard before?
A dad joke.
I think my family is racist.
I brought a black girl home, and my wife went crazy and told me to pack my bags, and my kids were upset.
When someone says you're adopted, say, "But you're still at the orphanage."
Orphans go on vacation to the ancient pyramid to find a mommy.
I asked a kid at my work where his parents were. He started crying. Man, I don't know what I did. I'll ask another kid at the orphanage.