Family jokes

Orphans go on vacation to the ancient pyramid to find a mommy.

I asked a kid at my work where his parents were. He started crying. Man, I don't know what I did. I'll ask another kid at the orphanage.

I was walking down the street and saw a kid and I said, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"

I said, "Your parents at first."

Yo mama so old, her birth certificate expired.

When someone says you're adopted, say, "But you're still at the orphanage."

If you're in Alabama, family reunions are basically speed dating events.

I hate prom in Alabama. They always say, "Uhh, actually this is our family reunion." We are in Alabama, so they are the same thing.

My mum once told me, "How do you spell Mississippi?" and I said, "Misisipi." But she said, "No, it goes mi-ss-i-ss-pp-i," and I laughed when she said "pp." Then she said, "Why are you laughing?" I tried saying, "You said pp," but I was laughing too hard.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't hit a home run.

Why does an orphan wanna be a criminal?

Because they wanna be wanted.

What's an orphan's favorite movie? Spiderman: No Way Home.

I would tell you an orphan joke, ehh I’ll just tell your parents instead.

Your teeth are so spread out my mom can drive her car through the gap in your teeth.

What has eight legs and leaves kids alone? The Jackson 4.

My dad is so good at instruments, he said he loves to finger "a minor."

Why did the orphan get an iPhone X for his birthday?

Because it has no home button.

Son: “Dad, did you get the results of the DNA test back?”

Dad: “Call me George.”

I made a website to adopt orphans. But there is no home page.

My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends, Chad, who just murdered his wife, Claire. After doing that, he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after.

My mom's reply: "Jesus, Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess, won't he?"

My dad’s nickname for me is ‘Tiger’.

Now, my wrists look like a tiger.