Family jokes
What's a joke that an orphan has never heard before?
A dad joke.
My mom thinks I need to stop objectifying women. I think she is overreacting.
She asked why I broke up with the last girl, and I said,
"It didn't work out."
She told me to be more specific, so I said,
"I just told you, she didn't exercise."
I asked a kid at my work where his parents were. He started crying. Man, I don't know what I did. I'll ask another kid at the orphanage.
Why did the orphan go to church?
It was because he was looking for someone to call "Father."
I think my family is racist.
I brought a black girl home, and my wife went crazy and told me to pack my bags, and my kids were upset.
I made a website to adopt orphans. But there is no home page.
I was walking down the street and saw a kid and I said, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"
I said, "Your parents at first."
Orphans go on vacation to the ancient pyramid to find a mommy.
If you're in Alabama, family reunions are basically speed dating events.
When someone says you're adopted, say, "But you're still at the orphanage."
If a deaf kid swears in sign language, does his mom wash his hands with soap?
Your teeth are so spread out my mom can drive her car through the gap in your teeth.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't hit a home run.
Son: “Dad, did you get the results of the DNA test back?”
Dad: “Call me George.”
What's an orphan's favorite movie? Spiderman: No Way Home.
I would tell you an orphan joke, ehh I’ll just tell your parents instead.
I hate prom in Alabama. They always say, "Uhh, actually this is our family reunion." We are in Alabama, so they are the same thing.
My dad is so good at instruments, he said he loves to finger "a minor."
What do you call an apple that fell out of the tree?
An orphan.
If a homeschooled kid kills his parents, is it considered a school shooting?