Family jokes
What's the difference between orphans and apples? Apples get picked.
Your hairline is so far back your mom can't cut it.
What happens when the orphan at school gets sent home?
I took my mother-in-law out yesterday.
God being a sniper is so fun!
Stephen Hawking's family was cruel. He fell over and got told to man up and walk it off.
Kids when they meet a kid out of home alone be like: “At least your mom came back!”
A kid went to visit his bully, and he says, "How's your face?" The kid says, "How's your parents?" and proceeds to walk out of the orphanage.
Yo mama's so stupid, when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV, she chased after them shouting, "Wait, you forgot the remote!"
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Your dead son.
A woman having labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”
“Don’t worry,” said Doc to the worried husband.
“Those are just contractions.”
Mom: Please eat, baby!
Baby: No!
Mom: Here comes the airplane!
What can’t orphans do in baseball? Go to home.
Mom: I apologize, Sam, for being so mean to you. <3
Sam: Thank you, Mother, for your apology.
Mom: jk
Your dad is so smart, he took one look at you and left.
Why do orphans play GTA 5?
To get wanted!
Yo mama is so stupid, she thought keeping you was a good idea!
What's the difference between parents and a boomerang?
The boomerang comes back from the store with milk.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Why can't orphans go to family restaurants?
Because they don't have a family to go with.
Me: "Cya"
Mom: "Where ya going?"
Me: "The orphanage to make yo mama jokes."
Mum: ...