Family jokes

If you're in Alabama, family reunions are basically speed dating events.

My dad’s nickname for me is ‘Tiger’.

Now, my wrists look like a tiger.

I hate prom in Alabama. They always say, "Uhh, actually this is our family reunion." We are in Alabama, so they are the same thing.

I made a website to adopt orphans. But there is no home page.

Son: “Dad, did you get the results of the DNA test back?”

Dad: “Call me George.”

Why do Black people go to a confession stand at the Catholic Church?

They wanna know what it’s like to speak to a father.

I would tell you an orphan joke, ehh I’ll just tell your parents instead.

Your teeth are so spread out my mom can drive her car through the gap in your teeth.

What do you call an apple that fell out of the tree?

An orphan.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't hit a home run.

What does my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.

If a homeschooled kid kills his parents, is it considered a school shooting?

I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before kicking the bucket: "Hey, wanna see how far I can kick this bucket?"

My dad is so good at instruments, he said he loves to finger "a minor."

Why did the orphan get an iPhone X for his birthday?

Because it has no home button.

What has eight legs and leaves kids alone? The Jackson 4.

What's an orphan's favorite movie? Spiderman: No Way Home.

What did the orphan ask Santa for? A good family.

Imagine getting a call and it says, "Welcome to David's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may we help you?"

What do orphans, parents, and trees have in common? They leafed.