Family jokes
Why are Mexican families so big?
They don’t know how to put a condom on.
Me: What is the difference between your mom and a mosquito?
Friend: Let me guess, they both suck you.
How do you circumcise a redneck?
You kick his sister in the jaw.
You know that you f**k better than dad?
I know, mom says that too. (Typical Alabama Family)
Why can orphans not get married?
They are dad can't walk them down the aisle!
A husband and a wife have four children. The oldest three are tall with blonde hair. The youngest is short with brown hair. The husband was on his deathbed and said, "Honey, can you be completely honest with me? Is our youngest son mine?" The wife says, "I swear to all that is holy, he is your son." Then the husband died and the wife muttered, "Thank god he didn't ask about the other three."
Why are babies called bundles of joy?
When you break the bundle, it gives you joy.
Why do orphans love to play family?
Because it's the closest they will be to being normal.
Why do we never make adult jokes in front of orphans?
Because the joke needs parental guidance.
Ryan: Mother, if you had 10 cookies, and I took 4 away from you, how much do you have?
Mother: I will still have ten cookies, because I will not give any to you.
Ryan: What if I forcefully take 4 cookies away from you?
Mother: I will have 10 cookies and a dead body.
Ryan and his mother had cookies that day. Ryan took all 10 cookies. He was never seen again. R.I.P Ryan.
Q. What's an orphan's favorite South Park episode?
A. The anti-Family Guy episode.
My mum said not to walk the streets because I won't find home the next day. I was an orphan.
What's the difference between an orphan and a dew?
One goes up and one goes down.
What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, because his parents ran away.
Double whammy. Orphan jokes are like a kid with cancer; it never gets old. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👌👌👌👌👌
Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his brother in the woods?
What's the best part of not wearing a condom when I'm with my girlfriend? My mom went through menopause.
Why don't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Son: Hey dad, why is my name Canada?
Dad: Because you were made there.
Mum: We haven't been to Canada.
Dad: Hol' up a minute.
Your nan.
I saw an orphan and I said, "Yo."
He said, "What do you want?"
I said, "To be your new father."
"Really??!" the orphan said.
Me: Lol, no.
Orphan *Jumps into street*