Family jokes

I complimented my neighbor's skeleton decoration for Halloween, but they just told me that it's their anorexic daughter.

Roses are red, I failed my test, All because of Hugh and his incest.

I went to my sister's room one day. I saw a trophy, so I asked my sister how she won it. My sister said the neighbors gave it to her because she gave out the best hand jobs in the neighborhood. I guess my sister put her hands to good use.

I love playing games with my family.

Why do orphans not care about sleep? Because they have no one to wake up to.

When does a joke become a dad joke?

When it leaves and never comes back...

How come your sister is hotter than you? Funny, huh?

Why did my dad leave me and my mum?

I told him it wasn't big enough and then ran off saying, "Daddy, yeeeees!"

Why do orphans like to play GTA?

To be wanted.

This is why orphans are dangerous with cardboard. They either start eating it or making it into a house and hallucinating that they have a family.

So I threw out the cardboard and said, "You have to stay in reality. Fantasies aren't real. You can't and will never get a home."

Next day, they make cardboard parents, so I threw that away and said, "Pay attention to reality; you will never get parents."

Next day, they start acting like parents and tell me what to do. Again, I said, "Snap to reality. You will never be a parent!" The orphan responded with, "Oh, really?! How so?" I just simply said, "You don't have a house and parents. You literally like eating cardboard, and then you make parents out of it. You like to eat old people!"

My father told me to always carry a women's bag, but I don't know why he called the cops on me when I helped Mom's bag when we went parachuting. :(

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "You're." "You're who?" "You're adopted!"

Some kid online: I f*cked your mom.

Me, an orphan: Jokes on you, I don’t have one!

What does an orphan and a lost kid have in common?

They have no way home.

What’s an orphan’s favorite school event?

Homecoming.

Go to an orphanage and tell the kids their parents came back as an April Fools' joke.

One orphan said, "Daddy, chill." I was like, "You don't have a dad!"

What's the difference between an orphan's parents and a boomerang? The boomerang comes back.

What's the difference between an escaped prisoner and an orphan?

Only one is wanted.

I still to this day remember my grandpa's last words.

"I'M ALLERGIC TO FUCKING CATS!"