Family jokes
What is an orphan's favorite movie?
"Home Alone."
Q: How to hit an orphan?
A: Hit them with a family tree.
How to tell your kid is adopted? Hi Daisy, let's play a game called "You're adopted!" I will start: Your mum died so I had to adopt you, but don't think I love you because you were the only kid there, haha!
What did the orphan's mom say to him when he got into trouble?
Nothing, because he doesn't know his parents...
Man: Oi, dude, why did you shoot the orphans!?
Other man: Because.
Man: Because why!?
Other man: Because who are they gonna tell? Their parents?
LISTEN ITS GOOD
I watched the series of "Unfortunate Events" 4 times, all the shows 4 times. I am crying. I am trying to finish the rest, then my brother comes in and says it is PG (Parental Guidance). After that, my brother called me a baby, then he pushed me off my bed. 😭
What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a BMW in my garage.
Why is Hugh's mum so fucking fat?
Because she ate the 34 other kids she had but now only has 6,789.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his son wanted to charge their phone, so they unplugged him.
My mom told me she couldn't open the garage door. Then it opened up to me that it wasn't broke anymore.
Superman has been called to a huge house fire.
Superman: "There you are ma'am, everyone out and all safe!"
Mother: "But my children are still inside! You need to go back an--"
Superman: "Ah fuck'em..."
Dad: Uh, yeah!
Son: Mom, Dad, what are you doing!
Parents: Sex!
Son: What?
Parents: Look, you can spectate!
Why doesn’t the orphan have any toys? Because his Lego figures ran away too.
What do you think of your mom? I can do it.
My dad was on a hotdog with ketchup.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home plate.
What's an orphan's favorite movie? Home Alone.
Me: Says to kid at adoption center, "You're adopted!"
Me and kid: hug.
Thought this site needed a little bit of nice jokes.
Q: What is the difference between a dead body and an orphan?
A: The dead body had a family.