Family jokes
Why is the orphan cold?
'Cause there's no one to cuddle with.
When you look exactly like your dead cousin and everybody thinks she faked her death.
FUCKING MENT
Why can’t orphans go on field trips?
Because they can’t get their parents’ permission.
I will always remember my grandpa's last words after robbing a bank: "Oh, shit! The pigs are catching up!" But the cops did not kill him; he drove full speed off a cliff.
Why can't orphans tell jokes?
They have no one to tell them to, people.
My sister said that if you go to a random person's door, the sister will all Waze open it.
I told people your mom is also known as "MBD" because you're a mega baby dispenser.
A baby and his father are sitting in a street cafe. A woman bends over to pick up her keys just as a gust of wind blows up the woman's dress. "va va voom," the baby says. The dad chuckles and says, "Yes. I'd like to have sex with her too."
What does a kid say to an orphan, "Where are your parents?"\n\n"I don’t have parents. Where are yours? Are you an orphan like me? I hope not!"
My grandfather said that I was too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and cut him off life support.
Roses are red, I like burgers on a bun.
This news: family neuters furry son.
What did the chancla say to the belt?
"It's time."
Why can't orphans play Monopoly?
Because they can't put a house.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Who is an orphan's favorite soccer player?
Been fostered.
Why does your mom hate you?
Because you are a loser.
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang because it actually comes back.
Q: What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? A: Apples get picked.
Best part about being an orphan?
Not spending 1h30 at the table every night with your dad yelling, "What's 2*3?!!" And you crying, "I don't know!!!"