Family jokes

Why does your mom hate you?

Because you are a loser.

Roses are red, I like burgers on a bun.

This news: family neuters furry son.

What did the chancla say to the belt?

"It's time."

Me: Says to kid at adoption center, "You're adopted!"

Me and kid: hug.

Thought this site needed a little bit of nice jokes.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't find home plate.

Q: What is the difference between a dead body and an orphan?

A: The dead body had a family.

What's an orphan's favorite movie? Home Alone.

Why are orphans bad at baseball?

They don't know where home is.

Why doesn’t the orphan have any toys? Because his Lego figures ran away too.

What do you think of your mom? I can do it.

Best part about being an orphan?

Not spending 1h30 at the table every night with your dad yelling, "What's 2*3?!!" And you crying, "I don't know!!!"

Man: Oi, dude, why did you shoot the orphans!?

Other man: Because.

Man: Because why!?

Other man: Because who are they gonna tell? Their parents?

Q: What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? A: Apples get picked.

Q: How to hit an orphan?

A: Hit them with a family tree.

Why can’t orphans live?

They don’t have parents.

How to tell your kid is adopted? Hi Daisy, let's play a game called "You're adopted!" I will start: Your mum died so I had to adopt you, but don't think I love you because you were the only kid there, haha!

What did the orphan's mom say to him when he got into trouble?

Nothing, because he doesn't know his parents...

I watched the series of "Unfortunate Events" 4 times, all the shows 4 times. I am crying. I am trying to finish the rest, then my brother comes in and says it is PG (Parental Guidance). After that, my brother called me a baby, then he pushed me off my bed. 😭

Yo mama so fat, she is fat!

Why is Hugh's mum so fucking fat?

Because she ate the 34 other kids she had but now only has 6,789.