Family jokes
Teacher: Can someone tell me the only living thing that can reproduce without sex?
Little Johnny: "Your wife."
I wish my ex-wife would take me back. :(
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apples get picked! 🤪
Where was your mom last night? In the man club?
Why can't orphans go to spelling bees? Because they can't spell "home."
Why are orphans always at school?
'Cause they can't be homeschooled.
What do Gay Men and Minorities have in common?
My dad hates them both!
Q: Why can orphans never be criminals?
A: Because they're never wanted.
Why can't an orphan be gay?
They have no one to call daddy.
Why can orphans not play baseball? They can't hit a home run.
I asked my dad what his previous job was. He said: "I was a post until I met your mother."
These orphan jokes would leave them crying to their mommies if they had any.
What's the difference between your mom and a mosquito?
Answer: The mosquito stops sucking if you slap hard enough.
What do my wife and dinner have in common? They are both vegetables.
Dad: Hey son, do you like Christmas?
12 year old me: Yeah!
Dad: Well, how would you feel about two?
Me: What?
Who are you?
Oh, I'm an orphan!
Oh... bye! :/
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Orphan.
Orphan who?
Are you my mommy?
10 dicks up your mom's ass!
Have you heard the saying, "One man's trash is another man's treasure"? Great saying.
Not so great way to find out you are adopted.
I told my cousin since we're not blood-related our parents would let us date.
Her pants were on fire.