Family jokes
Your girlfriend/boyfriend says: "I'm dating your uncle..." You start crying and you look under the bed and your uncle says: "Damn."
Mom!
Your momma is so hairy that when you were born, you got rug burn.
A mother and son were in the backyard, and the son finished building a shed. The mother says, "You're the best husband ever."
Technoblade: I'm the second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans.
Quackity: What is the first thing to ever happen to the orphans???
Technoblade: Quackity..... they're orphans.
(Disclaimer: not funny xD)
What's the difference between your mom in bed and Biden in the presidential race?
Your mom finishes.
Mom: Do I look fat in my dress?
Child: Nah... you look fat in every dress!
I'm pregnant.
Cousins make dozens.
A father of a young girl comes and meets the doctor.
Father: Doctor, how is my daughter's report?
Doctor: Congrats, your daughter is pregnant.
Father: WTF ?????? My daughter is 10 years old and unmarried.
Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor? Because it can't hit home.
Q: What movie do orphans hate?
A: Fatherhood.
What is an orphanage's favorite Roblox game?
"Adopt Me."
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because his parents couldn’t help him out!
Yo mama is so ugly that your dad has to be drunk to bring her home.
There was a little kid crying in the park today. I asked him where his parents were. Now I realize, man, I love my job.
If BLESSEDBRIAN were any more inbred, he’d be a SANDWICH.
My parents raised me as an only child, which infuriated my sister.
Mommy, mommy! Are we liars?
"Shut up and cross your fingers when you say that."
I didn’t wanna tell you, but I had to write this song, cause I’m in your house every night doin' your mom.