Family jokes
My wife slept with another man and got pregnant. She told me 9 weeks later. I said it's ok and told her let's talk downstairs, so I pushed her down the stairs.
If you're bored, just punch an orphan!
What are they gonna do...tell their parents?
If you bully a kid, bully an orphan.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
I adopted you. Now say goodbye, you missed your Spanish lesson...
Why couldn't the orphan use his iPhone 6?
He couldn't find the home button.
Memes
Spaghetti
My mom wanted me to brush my hair.
And I just told her that even pet animals don't like their hair brushed...
In Home Alone, if the kid was an orphan, it would just be called "Alone."
Why do orphans play tennis?
It's the only way they get love.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
Boomerangs come back, but your dad never did.
Sad life goes, joke mom.
Your nan's gay.
Why do I have a fat mom?
What did the orphan say to his mom?
Where are you?
Me: *in a family meeting*
Mom: Ok guys...
Me in my mind: BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples are picked.
What's an orphan's favorite sport?
Baseball, because that's the only time they can run home.
What does the dead man say to the other? He says, "Your daughter is pretty."
The other man says, "How do you know?"
The other man says, "Because she is dead."
You're so short, I bet your parents left you at home most times when they went to the pool because they're scared you'll drown in the kiddie pool.
Teacher: Everyone, tomorrow is bring your mom to school day.
Me: Sorry but my mom's not gonna make it.
Teacher: Why?
Me: I'm an orphan, bitch.