Family jokes

Why can't orphans open a website?

Because they don't have a home page.

Why don't orphans know how to play baseball? Because they don't know where how is.

Why do orphans have a single chip? Because they don't have a full bag.

Went home with a woman last night. I was greeted at the door by a Mongrel.

I say Mongrel, it was her Down syndrome son trying to process if I was a stranger or not.

Welcome to Alex's orphanage, you make 'em, we take 'em.

Q: What's the difference between a Genealogist and a Gynecologist?

A: One looks up the family tree and the other looks up the family bush.

If y'all gotta crush on me, tell me now before my dad spends my Valentine's money on crack and alcohol.

You look like your mom and your dad had a child.

My mom interrupted my gaming session to tell me to hang up the lights.

I hung something else instead.

Why aren't orphans good at poker?

Because they don't know what a "full home" is!

What did the orphan say to the blind kid?\n\n"Hey, we both can't see our parents!"

Why can't orphans play baseball?

They won't be able to find home.

A manager asked a black employee to work overtime. The employee initially agreed until he was told it would be without pay.

The employee responded with, "You know what happened last time my family worked for free?"

"What happened?" said the manager.

"A civil war."

What is harder than steel?

My cousin at the family reunion.

Girl: "Dad."

Dad: "Do I love you?"

Girl: "I am a prostitute."

Dad: "Yes."

Woman 2: "Dad."

Dad: "Right?"

Woman 2: "I'm a woman too."

Father: "God, do you love children?"

Boy: "Yes..."

An orphan walked up to St. June's Family Hospital.

Doctor: "Sorry kid, you can't be in here."

What type of chip can orphan's not eat? The Lay's Family Size chips!

Let's see what the orphans are gonna tell their parents about this: "Hey you buttheads, you stink!"

Looks like they didn't tell their parents.

Yo mama so fat, she stepped on the scale and it said a.k.a. "error."

Why was the rapper always late?

Because he had to drop his kids off at the Rhyme Bus.