Family jokes
Dad: Where is my son?
Son: Come join me with musical chairs, except we stand on them.
Dad: Ok, so do we put this round our neck?
Son: YES!
Mum: AHHHHHHHHHHHH
Why can you not let an orphan touch an iPhone 7? Because it would break if they touched the home button.
Yo mama looks like the dinosaur from Lilo & Stitch.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? Apes get picked.
I've heard stories of my mother. She was a teenager and left me in the blender, but luckily the power cut out, like at the orphanage.
When you figure out your sibling is an online dater:
GURL
Dad: Alive.
Brother: Orphan (fault=Mother).
Me: Dead on the inside but sadly alive.
Mother: Alive...
Wait a minute... I thought you were dead, Mom... Right, you're dead to me at least.
Two kids told their parents they saw a man late at night entering their house on Christmas night.
The day later, they found out several houses were robbed.
Where's your mom at?
Mom!
Mom! (DYM 22)
Mom!
Teacher: I was an orphan when I was younger.
Student: Oof.
Teacher: Is anyone not here?
Student: Yes, your parents.
Why do orphans go to church?
Why?
To finally call someone "father."
Mom!
What do you tell twins who are in love with each other?
Go fuck yourself!
Why do orphans like the game Adopt Me? Because they've never been adopted in their life.
I’ll always remember my father’s last words: “I’m gonna sleep for a little.”
9 months before I was born,
I went to a party with my dad and left with my mom.
Why was the orphan kid bad at school? Because he wanted a phone call home.